Episode 330 — Constipation Is An IMPORTANT Clue
Guest: Dr. Sheila Kilbane • Date: October 22, 2026
Episode Overview
Constipation can be easy to normalize, but Dr. Sheila Kilbane sees it as an important window into how well a child’s body is functioning. In this episode, she shares a practical, foundational approach to helping children move toward consistent, comfortable bowel movements.
About Dr. Sheila Kilbane
Sheila Kilbane, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician trained in integrative medicine with Dr. Andrew Weil. She is the founder of Infinite Health in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the author of Healthy Kids, Happy Moms: 7 Steps to Heal and Prevent Common Childhood Illnesses. Dr. Kilbane combines conventional and integrative medicine to help identify and address underlying contributors to childhood health challenges. Her work focuses on building a strong physiological foundation through nutrition, digestion, gut health, inflammation reduction, and other foundational factors. Her newest ebook, Constipated to Consistent, provides parents with a step-by-step approach to understanding and addressing constipation.
You’ll Discover
Why Constipation Can Affect Behavior And Sleep (6:57)
Why The Basics Need To Come Before More Complex Interventions (9:12)
Why Magnesium Can Be Important For Healthy Bowel Movements (19:56)
Why Changing One Variable At A Time Leads To Greater Clarity (32:59)
Why Tracking Small Changes Can Reveal Important Clues (39:30)
Referenced In This Episode
Constipated to Consistent - Dr. Kilbane’s ebook and step-by-step guide to addressing constipation
Dr. Sheila Kilbane’s TED Talk - August 2025
Autism Parenting Secrets Episode: Say NO To PEG, with Mike Koehler
Full Transcript
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 0:00
It doesn't matter whether your kid is two, they're 10, they're 15, they're 21, or if they're on the spectrum, if they have asthma, if they have eczema, constipation is one of the first things we need to address, right? Because it plays a big role in our body's ability to detoxify, to break down, right, and absorb the nutrients effectively and efficiently out of our food, and it plays a role in the makeup of our microbiome. If
Len Arcuri 0:39
you're a parent of a child with autism, you are being called to rise with love, courage, and clarity. This journey isn't easy, and most parents aren't equipped, but you can be. This podcast is your invitation to rise higher, because how you navigate matters. I'm Len, and this is Autism Parenting Secrets, where you become the parent your child needs now. Hello and welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. Today I'm joined once again by Dr. Sheila Kilbane. She was on this podcast a few years ago, and she is a board-certified pediatrician trained in integrative medicine with Dr. Andrew Weil, and she's the founder of Infinite Health and author of Healthy Kids, Happy Moms. She has a new book called Constipated to Consistent, and today we're exploring why constipation can tell us much more about our child's health than we might realize. The secret this week is constipation is an important clue. Welcome, Dr. Sheila.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 1:42
Thank you, Len. I love what you're doing and appreciate all the work that you're doing to help families.
Len Arcuri 1:47
Wonderful. I appreciate what you're doing, and you happen to be in my backyard in Charlotte, North Carolina, and so again, I'm delighted to talk to you. I know we could talk about a lot of topics that might be relevant for parents. Your new book though hits on one that time and time again I run into with parents that I advise, where constipation isn't just a minor thing; it's actually really kind of the stumbling block that, if not addressed, really prevents them from going down other avenues that they might want, that they might think are would be helpful for their child. So I'm glad we're focusing on this topic. So I guess when you think about this issue of constipation, what would you say to parents? Like, what might that be telling them about what's going on with their child that they might otherwise miss?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 2:40
Yeah. So let me start also with what is constipation because that's one of the things we run into also is kids can't it. So constipation can be where they're straining, they're pushing, right? It might be it may be hard, but they're only going two or three days a week, and they can also be going daily, but still be having a backup if they have if they've had periods where they haven't, they've skipped several days, or sometimes they might skip a week, especially if you're traveling, and they're so if there's any pain, any struggle, any strain around having a bowel movement, their constipation may be involved, and it's. I encourage you to think about this for yourselves, for the adults listening, in addition to the kids, because right, we all have a similar physiology in our families, and when we when you think about the bottom line, and I struggled with constipation for years before I even realized what was happening, and it was so uncomfortable. And so I think this is part of why I have such a big passion with this, and it doesn't matter whether your kid is two, they're 10, they're 15, they're 21, or if they're on the spectrum, if they have asthma, if they have eczema, constipation is one of the first things we need to address, right? Because it plays a big role in our body's ability to detoxify, to break down, right, and absorb the nutrients effectively and efficiently out of our food, and it plays a role in the makeup of our microbiome. And we'll we can get into the microbiome, and we can break this down step by step. But the the first thing I want to kind of describe is if we take one of the first kiddos that I remember seeing. This was right 20 plus years ago when I was first out of residency, and I didn't understand. And what a big role food played in our health, right? So we've, you know, we've got all these different facets that when we're in conventional medical training, we really don't get much training on nutrition. You know, we learn that really low vitamin C is scurvy. You know, we know we need certain nutrients, but we don't really get that understanding of how. What does that look like from a day-to-day standpoint of what you're eating? So, if you take a this kiddo was, and I wrote about it, and my book is out. It's just constipated to consistent, and it's an ebook, so it's simple, easy access. It's so great. We made it a little flip book. It's it's beautiful, and it's this the young boy. He was he was five, hadn't pooped in two weeks, and he you know constipation had been a consistent issue for him. His belly was hard. He was really irritable. He was uncomfortable. He wasn't sleeping, and you know, so we do a belly X-ray, and he's of course full of stool. And at that point in time, you know, my toolbox was to use a laxative, which is 100% appropriate in that situation. And we use Miralax. We get him cleaned out, and the key at that point in time, I left the child on Miralax, and I would just leave kids on Miralax for two, three years at a time, because I didn't have that's that is how I was trained. I wasn't thinking about magnesium. I wasn't reading the research on how dairy can impact bowel movements, no pun intended. So it's and then as we learn, right, as practitioners and as parents, as we learn, then we shift what we're doing. And so first of all, let me let me pause there. Does that make sense from the first standpoint is that that was my entry into this world, and then I started to learn that food does play a role. So, in addition to saying, okay, let's resolve this constipation, let's get the colon cleared out so that the body can function properly, then we move on and say, okay, what else are we going to do here? How are we going to get this child pooping every day?
Len Arcuri 7:26
Yep. Nope. It makes it makes perfect sense. I definitely want to. I have a few questions I have related to what you've shared in terms of where you were, but I'll let you continue about where you are now on how you're supporting parents. But I think the bottom line, though, and you touched on what constipation is, but ultimately, is the true goal still one formed solid bowel movement a day? Is that still the target that we as adults are going for, and that we are also targeting for our child?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 7:58
Yes, yes, and the thing I also want to make super clear is how the how bowel movements can affect behavior. Before we go into that a little bit further, so these kids, you may notice that your kiddos two or three days into a bowel movement, they're more irritable. They're more transitions may be more difficult. They, you may have to ask them to do something. You know, maybe normally you ask them two or three times. Maybe you have to ask five or six times now. More trouble falling asleep. More trouble staying asleep. So when we have all of that undigested food sitting in the colon, that's where all of this microbiome, we've got trillions of bacteria in the colon, and that undigested food that's in there is going to allow the not so beneficial bacteria to just proliferate, and then they're going to create gasses, and that's going to create bloating, belly pain, and it's going to create some neurologic shifts. And that's where they're going to get this irritability. Sometimes it's anxiety. So by getting them going daily and easily, which is absolutely what we all should be doing, that's where we keep this. The body does something called peristalsis. So, there the stool is moving right from the mouth out the bottom, and it's always contracting and releasing. And by doing that, we're also allowing that regulation of all of those gasses that get produced in the gut, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in a conference by some of the you know physicians we were just talking about who've been really leaders in this field of kids on the spectrum and nutrition and kind of the biomedical model, and I was in the. And she said it should only take you the same amount of time to have a bowel movement as it should to urinate. And I was like, "What? No, seriously? And I had been through all of my training, and I I really want parents to understand this, that I had been through all of my medical training, all of my convention. I mean, my conventional training, then all of my integrative medical training-and I still didn't realize that I wasn't my GI system was not functioning properly. And I mean, you can look at pictures of me. I looked bloated. I my skin wasn't very clear. I mean, I definitely I was bloated in my belly. I was just uncomfortable every time I ate, and so I went home. I made the dietary changes that I had been recommending in families for my families for a while, and it was like night and day. And so, for me, it was gluten was my big kryptonite, and when I pulled gluten out of my diet, and I didn't, I did testing on myself. So I did a celiac panel, and I I have all of this really clearly listed out in my book. Be and I and I did it with myself in a little bit of a different order than I recommend for family. So I'll just say that I went off of gluten. It was like night or day. I I was I felt so much better, and to this day I feel better. You know, I I feel amazing, and but if we back up before gluten, we first want to make we do what I call a mini cleanse, and you've got to make sure because Len, we were talking about before we started how sometimes we will be grasping at sophisticated treatments and doing, or or or even for example taking gluten out of the diet, I would never recommend doing one of the pulling a whole yummy food group out of the diet.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 12:07
If we're first not certain that we're having enough water, we're not eating a lot of sugar, we're not eating a lot of packaged processed foods, you know, we're we're limiting our fast food intake, and we're eating enough fiber, so we've got to get the basics down before we start pulling big food groups out, because it is, and the way that I always talk about it is, I don't do like we're not going to do anything to address within reason. I mean, of course, we're going to do what we need to do. But if you, if your child has asthma, if they have eczema, if they're on the spectrum, if they have ADHD, they've got to be pooping before we can go to the next level, right? We pooping is setting the foundation, and then that allows us to build from there.
Len Arcuri 13:02
Yep, yep, that makes perfect sense to me. And as you were talking about that, you know, there's a few ways you can bottom line it. You can talk about how there needs to be a foundation in place of the essential things that are happening in order to allow for regular bowel movements. And then another way of looking at it is really becoming a good detective on okay, well, what is the root cause of why my child's not having those bowel movements? Which I love what you were saying because a parent, let's say, who hears, okay, gluten free, something you do for autism, just immediately goes to that. Well, gluten may not be the root cause of what's behind those bowel movements, as you said. It could be proper hydration, maybe not enough healthy fats. There's there's so many possible root causes, which is why knowing what really is going on with your child and working with a practitioner like you to be able to get some data as to what's happening is really a key step to discern what's going to help my child the most.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 13:58
Yes, and it's you can. I always love, you know, if parents are able to, I love to have you working with a practitioner to help you figure this out. And it's also why I wrote. I have my my book, my regular book. I have this ebook, and the ebook is just a simple, simple way. I am with with the method that I've used over the past 20 years, we change one variable at a time because otherwise you're going in. And and I find interestingly that dads really appreciate that. Even moms like it as well. I feel like the dad dads. I just feel like men's minds work a little bit differently. I'm making sweeping generalizations, and I don't mean any sexist or anything by it. I just think that when when dads come in and they hear we're going to make all these changes, we're going to do all these supplements. I think sometimes they're the ones more so giving a little bit of pushback because often in your. Family is a little bit different. Often, moms have been the ones who have really done a deep dive in the research, and again, that's not always the case. But with some, with with many of the families that I see, so we are going to take. We're first going to do what I call this mini cleanse, and we're just going to, which isn't really a cleanse. It's just swapping out right sugar drinks for water, filtered water. We could talk for two hours about exposures in our houses, but we'll save that for another time. Fruits and vegetables, right? Fiber, green leafy vegetables, and then just decreasing processed fats and processed foods. Then we go on. There is a great, and I also talk about in the book how I layer in supplements. I also do. I just i I start with a probiotic, you know, for three to five days. Then we do digestive enzymes. Then we do fats. I don't ever start putting fats into the kids' systems unless I know they're going to be breaking them down and absorbing them. And until your child is pooping on a more regular basis, we don't need to be putting expensive supplements into their system. We do need certain ones. We need to get because we need to let the supplements do some of the work at first, especially if you have a picky eater or something like that. So it's a it's a combo, and I write it exactly how I recommend it in the method that we use in the practice. I have it all written out in the book, and then you also work with someone like you, Len, to get to say because that can feel overwhelming, and so that's where you come into play, and you help a parent go. Okay, let's just take this. Let's take a beat. Let's take a breath, and just do the things that you can right now get, you know, make sure that the parent, as parents, that we're able to stay grounded. The way I always lay it out is, inflammation is illness, and we have five main triggers of inflammation. So it's food, environmental allergies, environmental toxins, infectious diseases, and stress. Stress can be physical, like if you maybe you have scoliosis or you know something physical in your body, and it can be emotional, and all of those things weigh equally. And in conventional medicine, we are highly trained on the infectious diseases standpoint of that. We're not so well versed in some of those other categories, and so this is where, if we're, I always talk about it like this: we could have perfect nutrition and perfect supplements, but if there is a lot of stress at home, and if the kids are and kids are going to resonate to what the nervous system of the predominant adults are in the household, and if mom and dad are extremely stressed, the kiddo's systems are going to more so mirror that fight or flight, and when you're in fight or flight, you have blood flow shifts, and the blood flows away from the gut to the arms and the legs, so that you can run away from the lion in the forest.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 18:40
It's also going to shunt away from the frontal cortex, where we think and do our math, to the more primitive brain, and our heart rate's going to go up, our respiratory rate's going to go up, but that situation is not conducive to digesting and absorbing nutrients from our food, nor is it conducive to that peristalsis, which is moving the food, you know, so that we can have a ball movement. So we're gonna, right? What we're gonna talk a little bit more about today is right the steps, and I'll share with you the steps to take. And we've got to remember the 50,000 foot view. We we can't lose the forest through the trees.
Len Arcuri 19:26
Yep. No, I think that's all beautifully said. And I mean, ultimately, again, you're sharing this concept that there's a root cause at play, and for you, it's this chronic inflammation that has several triggers. And again, every child's going to be unique in terms of which triggers are relevant for them, or more or more applicable. Same thing for the parent, and so, so yes, there's so much that's happening in the child's environment, and you might not think that things are ultimately impacting something as important as digestion, but the reality is. Yes, there's stressors and things that aren't helping, and the exciting news is that there's so much that a parent can take action on to create an environment where, again, the body just works as it's naturally designed, and that's where you know we're designed to have consistent bowel movements every day, but for whatever reason, there's something that's missing, or something in the environment that's making it really hard to accomplish that goal. And I also just like what you talked about with respect to supplements, because sometimes it's easy to get carried away with. Okay, now let's add a whole bunch of things. But my guess is in that suite of supplements that might be helpful, my guess is magnesium is one of them that really, pretty much, we all need. Is that correct?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 20:47
Ding, ding, ding. Yes, yeah. And as as crazy as it sounds to me now, I don't. You know, when I was in my training, we never talked about adding magnesium to kids' diets, and part of that is many variables, right? Is you can't you can't get magnesium, you know, through a prescription. So somebody would have to have the resources to buy a supplement, and and right insurance. I have seen insurance do a complete you know shift while I have been in practice, so things are very different now, and people are much more knowledgeable about you know that supplements can be helpful. But when we talk about magnesium, studies show that about 50% of the population does not get adequate amounts of magnesium in their diet, and so what does a magnesium deficiency looks look like? Well, it's constipation, muscle cramps, trouble sleeping, anxiety, even histamine allergy type issues. Magnesium is needed to help the body clear histamine, and so we it's a it's an essential an essential mineral that we need, and we get it from green leafy vegetables, we get it from pumpkin seeds and other nuts and seeds. So if if you have a really a child who's a very particular eater, and we're not getting those foods in. This is this is definitely example where I say, let's let that supplement do some of the work. And magnesium, we've got a a supplement bundle, and magnesium is the the first thing that we get started in when we have kids with constipation,
Len Arcuri 22:45
any particular form or or combo of forms?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 22:48
Yeah, yeah, it's the the one that we use. It's got a little bit of magnesium citrate. That's the kind that's going to stay in the GI tract, but it's also got some chelated magnesium, so like magnesium glycinate, that's going to get better absorbed into the system because, and we need that twofold because we've got to have our muscles need magnesium in order to relax, and we also need magnesium within the GI tract to get things moving, so it's a lot of times that's what what I'll see in the practice is that the the kids won't be on the right forms of magnesium, or they'll be on gummies, and most of the supplements that are marketed to kids, there's like a whiff of the amount of whatever it is they need, like magnesium, it's usually going to be way too low a dose to get them moving. And if you are going to give them enough gummies to actually get their bodies moving, they're probably at that point in time getting you know three or four teaspoons of sugar in what they're going to need to take, so it's that's why it's there's you know most of us who do integrative functional medicine we have vetted we have researched the the supplements that we recommend are clean products they're the right forms and the right dose the therapeutic dosing. Yep.
Len Arcuri 24:22
Yeah, there's no question. You have to be very cautious as a parent to make sure what you're providing your child is the adequate amount. Because sometimes, especially with magnesium, even adults who take it, we're you know we likely need more than what might be in that one single capsule. But yes, the what what's inside of it, what's not included because a lot of you know even reputable supplement companies. If you look at the label, there's a lot of stuff that you wouldn't want your child to have, particularly if you have a child like I do who's incredibly sensitive and has has significant true allergies as well. So really, you know, spending more time looking at what's in the. Supplement and making sure that you're comfortable with everything that's in there. That's that's a big part of it, which is why I know practitioners like you have your own formulations to make sure that it kind of meets those those standards.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 25:12
Yes, and the when you look at something like magnesium milk of magnesia, right? That's something you can get at the drugstore. If you're, if you ask your grandmother what to take for constipation, that's what she would say. And milk of magnesia is is magnesium oxide, and that's a form that just stays in your gut. It's going to be the big pow to get it out. At certain times, that may be what you need, but we would use a magnesium oxide in a different form. We wouldn't use the milk of magnesia that you get in the pharmacy because if you turn it over, you want to look at the other inactive ingredients, and you want to look at right. So many of these have different different dyes in them. They'll have a lot of. They'll have alcohol, sugars. We've got to watch the these. All of these things will affect the microbiome. So you just have to be careful. I, my rule of thumb is if you don't know exactly what you're doing with supplements, pause. You know, either work with a practitioner, do further research, and then proceed because it is. You may just be spending money, you know, especially if the kids aren't absorbing nutrients effectively and efficiently, right? If there's inflammation, you're just going to have expensive pee and poo, and it's not. You just want to make sure. I, I oh, I mean, I have families come in with these big bags of supplements, and there's also a lot of overlap, and so you want to be careful, right? Because you can't overdose on certain things.
Len Arcuri 26:50
Yeah, no, it has nothing to do with what you're getting into your child. It's what are they absorbing, right? What what are they actually using? So so again, maybe let's let's shift over to now, especially given your experience and what you've seen, I know how you help parents now is different than it would have been 1020, years ago. And if you could comment specifically on on Miralax, and I did one episode which focused specifically on Miralax, called "Say Say No to peg? Would you agree that long-term continued use of that particular way of cleaning out your child isn't necessarily a good long-term strategy?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 27:30
So the the first thing I want to say is that if your child is, if you're listening to this and your child, you or your child are on Miralax, don't stop it cold turkey. That's not at all what we're saying. They still use Miralax, you know, with kids in my practice when we need it. And what happened is, when I was training, I want to. I have this actually this page pulled up in my book because I think it's a. It was something again that I stumbled upon most of the stuff that I ultimately ended up doing this research on were things that you just kind of figured out through the years. So, it's a laxative, right? It's polyethylene glycol 3350 is the that's the generic name, kind of a scientific name of it. Originally approved in 1999, and that was I was in medical school 98 to 2002. So when you open the packing slip of Miralax, it literally says in it only used for kids 16 and under under the advisement of a doctor, and it's not designed to be used more than about seven to 14 days, and I didn't know this until later on after I'd been prescribing it. So I finished residency in 2005, and that was right. That was our go to, and then in the late I think it was the late 2000s, 2006. It was actually approved by the FDA to be used over the counter, and right. So then it became much more widespread use, and then more toward the late 2000s, the FDA was getting some reports that parents felt or people felt, like they were. Some of these kids were having kind of neuropsychiatric symptoms like anxiety, aggression, mood changes, tics, obsessive behaviors, and so in response, the FDA, you know, created an initiative for some research to be done. Now it's an important no, and so that was just the time that I started questioning. Okay, maybe I need to look, and that was around the time that I actually opened up, you know, the instructions and realized, oh wow, this isn't ideally isn't supposed to be used more than a couple of weeks, and. And the thing I do want to say is that none of that research showed that there was a correlation. The thing with Miralax, though, is that it is designed to stay in the gut, right? Is that we're taking it and it's not supposed to be systemically absorbed. Once you start to understand the really the physiology behind inflammation, right? When we've got gut inflammation, we these tight junctions say these are cells of the GI tract. The tight junctions have you know we get space between them, and then we can get systemic absorption of particles from the GI tract that we maybe shouldn't be absorbing, so we want to. If we know we've got a kiddo with right what we call a leaky gut, or in in medicine we call it a permeable intestine, we want to get this healed, and we want to make sure that what is designed to stay in the gut stays in the gut, and what we want absorbed gets absorbed, so that's kind of a long explanation of utilize Miralax if and when you need to, and let's be working to shift nutrition and you know add certain key strategic supplements when we need to. And I, the thing that I want to say that we didn't talk about, but dairy is can be one of the big triggers for constipation. And I just there was a beautiful study that was done. They took a group of kids who were pooping once every three to 15 days, and they broke them into two groups. In one of the groups, they removed dairy. The other one they just you know left on dairy, and within a week, 68% of the kids were pooping daily and easily. Added the dairy back in, almost all of the kids, those kids were not having a bowel movement again every day. So it's it's a really clear study, right? If my oath is to do no harm, I'm always going to begin with the thing that is the least invasive and the least the easiest on the body.
Len Arcuri 32:15
Yeah, yeah. No, the the philosophy being that you know overall, every particular person, particularly a child, may have certain foods that are kryptonite, right? And the only way to know is whether you kind of do the elimination diet. You eliminate that food, see what happens. And as you mentioned, gluten can definitely be one. Dairy casein can absolutely be something. So, so again, that's where every every child's unique. But as much as you can, you're going to want to have your child get the building blocks that are essential for good health, which is clean food, nutritious food. You know that's why if you get food right, you may not need to do supplements, and you may not need to do a lot of other things. Which is why it doesn't sound very sexy, but those basics, those those fundamentals are really key. And and again, for something like you know Miralax, which I know is on a lot of people's radar, you know, if you tactically need to do something, then then you you have that option. But otherwise, you know, the problem with your child is not a Miralax deficiency, right? They're like it's it's there's something else that's going on. So why not focus on what's really happening? What does my child need that they don't have, or what do they have too much of that I I can maybe reduce? And that gets into all those triggers that you mentioned. So so maybe is there anything that you wanted to elaborate on those five kind of sources of chronic inflammation, just to help parents better understand that.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 33:45
So, just taking taking it one step at a time, because I also see a lot of people who get food sensitivity testing, and they'll get a lot of testing, and I don't do a lot of those the food sensitivity testing. I'm not saying that it's a wrong way to do it. It's an absolute. That's a you know can be a great way. In my experience, it can be kind of overwhelming for a family to get this test that is often shows a lot of different foods, because if your gut is inflamed, you're probably going to see a lot of food sensitivities that are testing on that, so I always, always am going to start with the basics that we talked about, right? That mini cleanse, and then dairy, and then if we still need, if we're not pooping daily by that time, and this is you, you've added also magnesium, a probiotic, and a digestive enzyme, and then you will get tested for celiac disease. And then, if needed, you pull gluten out of the diet and just do it slowly, do it, you know, methodically, and and get ready for it. You know, don't make yourself do it all at once. Turkey, I I have a you know I have a way of doing it where you just do it gradually over a three week period of time.
Len Arcuri 35:08
Yeah, that makes makes much more sense. Although again, as parents, we all want faster results, want to you know a lot of energy to do things rapidly, and that kind of commitment and and intention is fantastic. But again, to make it you know realistic for you, to make it even more comfortable for your child, right? To go you know more slow with you know baby steps, you know in that right direction. A lot of it comes down to knowing what your north star is. Where do you want to get to? And that's where here you know that outcome of regular you know, form bowel movements once a day. If that's the target, okay. How can we take some steps in that direction, starting with kind of cleaning, you know, cleaning up the diet or cleaning up the environment, and that's why, yeah, your book. I'm excited that it's out now. I know when we scheduled this, it wasn't out yet, but it's very digestible, very easy to follow, and again, there's so much in there, very practically laid out, and that's the key. The key here is just taking steps in the right direction and just paying real close attention to what's going on with your child, because again, what's going to unlock this opportunity for them may be very different from child to child, and I'm sure in your practice you see that all the time.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 36:22
Yes, and it is the same method whether you do it with again, if your child is on the spectrum, if your child is ADHD, if they have asthma, allergies, recurrent illnesses, Down syndrome, it's the same approach with first setting the foundation,
Len Arcuri 36:44
yes,
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 36:44
and then you branch from there. And what I always say is, it's usually two or three steps forward, one or two back, two or three forward, one or two back. But then you wake up one day and you're like, "Oh wow, we have we pooped every day for a week. You're at a different baseline, and that's where you get those long-lasting results. And that's where we start with our foundational bundle of the constipation. But we have a foundational bundle of supplements that includes the fats, and that's the fats are fish oil and phosphatidylcholine. And a lot of people aren't aren't necessarily as aware that those are also going to impact constipation. Like you said, you said right away when we started talking, you've also got to have the fats, and so then once we're this is how we get the long term improvements.
Len Arcuri 37:39
Yep, and playing that long game is a very powerful strategy. As much as we want the short term gains, it's again it's knowing where you're going and and taking the steps that are moving you closer to there, and really taking steps that are in alignment with where you want to go. And the good news is a lot of these steps are free within your ability to do something about. And and again, at some point, if testing may make sense, because I know my son super sensitive, high IgE allergy, IgG sensitivity, and that information is important. But otherwise, it's not necessarily where you need to start if you just really focus more on on setting that strong foundation.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 38:21
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
Len Arcuri 38:23
All right. Great. Well, I guess if if a parent were to remember one thing from this conversation about why constipation is more than just a symptom, why it's really just a even perhaps an incredibly important clue, what what would you want them to understand?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 38:40
My whole goal for families is that they laugh again, right? And when you're uncomfortable, it's hard to laugh with each other and joke. So think about it as you, if your baseline physical comfort, if you feel comfortable, you're gonna be able to have fun, and so that's that's. I just when we get in the weeds sometimes with all of this stuff, it can feel so serious and so daunting. But just that little right, and you can always get some good poop jokes going.
Len Arcuri 39:19
Absolutely, absolutely, and just again, a parent's state and how they're responding to it. It's like, okay, this is happening with my child. I can take actions, and again, the more relaxed and comfortable the parent is, and light, even though they're seeing things they want to change for their child, again, their state matters. Your child's feeding off your state, and again, this is something that, while a challenge, is something that's absolutely within your ability to influence. And again, it just kind of takes that heightened awareness, some clues as to might be what might be going on with your child, and again, those consistent, steady, perhaps even small, but actions that are. That are aligned to where you want to go.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 40:02
Yeah, and look for the wins. Just look for the little, and write it down. You know, my book I have the symptom tracker. You want to, how many days a week are they hard? Are they you know look at got a picture of the Bristol stool chart. What do the stools look like so that you track it because our brains are not very accurate at remembering what happened this morning, let alone you know three weeks ago.
Len Arcuri 40:30
Yeah, that that is so true. We never notice the gains. It's easy to miss it, at least. So yeah, if you're doing tracking, whether it's in this case on on your child's stool or even behaviors and and other things that are going on. The more we can just bring more awareness to what's happening, that's going to help us. That's going to help inform what actions for us to take. And because things can feel so overwhelming and complex, it's very easy to miss what's actually improving or even what might be getting worse. So just simple, you know, a daily practice of jotting down those notes is a is a powerful, powerful way you can take more control over, you know, at least your awareness of what's happening because it all starts with that greater awareness, which is why we have this episode. So constipation, if that's something that you're wrestling with, this discussion is a start, but otherwise, yes, Dr. Sheila's ebook is available. There'll be a link in the show notes. Dr. Sheila, anything else you'd like to share with our audience about how they can find out more about you?
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 41:32
I so have a brick and mortar practice in Charlotte, North Carolina, and it's the our email is or our website is Sheila kilvain.com. It's S H E I L A K I L B A N E, and we have you know it's Sheila Kilvain MD on Instagram and Facebook, and yeah, and I have my TED talk I did in August of 2025, so that's online if anybody wants to listen to that, but just we have a little people can sign up for a just a free informational call if they feel like they need more individualized care.
Len Arcuri 42:11
All right, perfect. Well, I'll put that all in the show notes. And as always, delightful talking with you. We'll pick another topic for next time, but in the meantime, I'm really glad we recorded this conversation because it just is something that's so prevalent for so many families. So thank you so much for what you do.
Dr. Sheila Kilbane 42:27
Thank you, Len. I appreciate it.
Len Arcuri 42:29
Your child needs you running on all cylinders now, and the fastest way to rise is with personalized one-on-one support. Get started today. Go to elevatehowyounavigate.com
