Episode 288 — Start With the Right FOCUS
Date: January 1, 2026
Episode Overview
Parents often believe they’re stuck because they aren’t doing enough. In this solo episode, Len explains why effort is rarely the problem — focus is. He breaks down how scattered or misdirected focus quietly stalls progress, and why starting with the right focus changes how parents observe, decide, and act.
You’ll Discover
Why effort without focus keeps parents stuck (2:10)
How present-moment focus reveals what your child truly needs (4:05)
Why understanding the past clarifies the right root causes (6:20)
How decisive action and follow-through unlock momentum (9:10)
Referenced in This Episode
Full Transcript
Len [00:00:00]:
Parents aren't stuck because they aren't trying hard enough. They're stuck because their energy is scattered. And when your effort is spread across too many things or aimed at the wrong things, progress stalls, no matter how hard you work. And this episode is about how to change that.
Len Arcuri [00:00:19]:
If you're a parent of a child with autism, you are being called to rise with love, courage, and clarity. This journey isn't easy, and most parents aren't equipped, but you can be. This podcast is your invitation to rise higher, because how you navigate matters. I'm Len, and this is Autism Parenting Secrets, where you become the parent your child needs now.
Len [00:00:45]:
Hello and welcome. Before I dive in, I just want to say thank you. I know how valuable your time is, and I don't take lightly that you chose to spend a few minutes here with me today. So I'm genuinely grateful you're listening. And it's my hope that what I share in this episode and in all of these episodes with dynamite guests, I really hope that it's useful and supportive for you and your family. And in last week's episode, I talked about peace, about the internal state you operate from as a parent. This episode is about something different, but it's just as important. It's about focus.
Len [00:01:24]:
Because peace without focus leads to drifting, and focus without peace leads to burnout. When parents are struggling, it's very rarely because they don't care or aren't trying hard enough. More often, it's because their energy is scattered, focused in way too many places or on the wrong things. So today, I want to make it very clear what focus actually looks like, how it shows up in many different forms, and why. Starting with the right focus changes everything. So let me start with something that I see all the time. Parents are super busy. They're researching, they're trying supplements, they're exploring therapies, they're meeting with practitioners, and they're listening to podcasts like this one.
Len [00:02:11]:
There's effort everywhere. Parents aren't stuck because they aren't trying hard enough. They're stuck because their energy is scattered. And when your effort is spread across too many things or aimed at the wrong things, progress stalls, no matter how hard you work. And this episode is about how to change that. Here's what I want to make really clear. Focus isn't just one thing. It shows up in multiple forums.
Len [00:02:38]:
And most parents don't realize how often they're losing it. So I want to break this down, because it shows up in many places, but at least in four key places. So the first place focus matters is the present moment. And this is about truly observing your child, not through fear, not through assumptions, but with genuine curiosity and calm attention. What's actually happening right now? What's your child experiencing emotionally, neurologically, physically? What's their nervous system doing? What's it like inside their body? And what's the environment that they're exposed to? From their perspective, when parents are overwhelmed, they often miss what's right in front of them. And focus here means slowing down enough to really see your child and not just to be managing them. The second place focus shows up is when you look back, back at the timeline. So understanding the past matters.
Len [00:03:43]:
Key events, stressors that your child experienced, illnesses, trauma, regression points. There is always a story and a timeline clearly outlined that explains how things got to where they are now is really, really critical to have. Without that perspective, parents often chase the current symptoms instead of understanding patterns. And focus on the past isn't in any way about blame. It's about clarity. And that leads to. The third area where focus breaks down for a lot of parents is related to the root causes. Parenting decisions are never poorly intentioned, but they're often poorly formulated.
Len [00:04:30]:
Parents are taking action, often with incredible dedication, but without a clear way to determine what actually deserves their attention right now. So the effort is real, but the direction isn't always right. And that leads to many families. They wind up focusing on symptoms instead of root causes. They chase behaviors. They respond to what's loud or urgent. And even parents who are thinking in terms of root causes, often working with a functional or integrative practitioner, can still run into a major problem. They may be focusing on the wrong root causes.
Len [00:05:09]:
And that's how you end up working incredibly hard while climbing a ladder that's leaning up against the wrong wall. And over the last 10 years, I've seen this pattern again and again. Parents struggle not because they aren't willing to act, but because they don't see the full landscape of possibilities. They don't know what's on the full menu. And that's why I've spent more than a decade compiling a comprehensive root cause database. Not just the obvious bigger categories, but some more specific secondary and tertiary root causes that often get missed. And so when you can actually see the full range of what might be driving what's happening with your child, everything really does shift. Because you act with more precision, and that visibility is really, really powerful.
Len [00:06:00]:
It allows you to make more informed choices about where to place your bets. It helps you feel confident that you're focusing on the right things and just as importantly, about what you're not focusing on right now. And when that kind of clarity is paired with guidance from trusted advisors, especially a medically grounded, functional practitioner, your effort becomes far more strategic. And you can work incredibly hard and still make very little progress if you're focused on the wrong root causes. And when direction gets clearer, your efforts finally start to really pay off. So there's one more place that focus matters, and this one is critical. Once you know what matters, progress comes from acting and staying with it. Most parents don't get stuck because they chose the wrong thing once.
Len [00:06:56]:
They get stuck because they hesitate or they second guess. They second guess themselves or their practitioner and they just lose momentum. So here focus shows up because it really means committing to action. And that means acting, learning as you go, course correcting, and continuing forward instead of freezing or just dropping off. So clarity with focus creates the momentum and hesitation really kills it. So I just want to bring this all together. Focus shows up in how closely you observe the present, how clearly you understand the past, how accurately you identify root causes, and how consistently you act to address those root causes. And when one of these breaks down, parents can absolutely feel stuck.
Len [00:07:51]:
I always like to end every episode with clear takeaways. And right now I offer two for you to consider. So takeaway number one, take focus seriously. And this applies to you. It applies to every parent listening. Because focus doesn't just happen. You can ask yourself honestly, do I protect my time for sustained thinking, or am I continuously or constantly reacting to other people's urgencies and am I trying to do too much at once? These are all really useful questions. And improving focus might look like blocking time on your calendar to think it might mean saying no more often to others, and it just may mean narrowing your priorities or choosing fewer actions and executing those really well.
Len [00:08:44]:
So just committing to improving focus is a powerful step and you'll know what moves you can take today. And the second takeaway I offer to you is that you absolutely can accelerate focus with the right support. So if you do want to significantly enhance your ability to focus on the right things in the right way, that's where the all in parent accelerator comes in. Not because you're incapable on your own, but because you're too close to it. Your habits may be pulling you off course. Your nervous system can get hijacked. We can all drift. You wind up wasting energy.
Len [00:09:26]:
So personalized support helps remove the blindfold and it strengthens critical thinking, decisive action, and consistent follow through. So if you want to explore what that feels like, I've streamlined the process to make it as easy as possible for you to experience personalized support. You can go to elevatehowyou navigate.com it takes a few minutes to schedule a clarity call. No obligation, no pressure. But for many parents, that conversation alone creates a major shift. So here's the bottom line. You don't need to do everything, and you definitely don't need to know everything. But you do need to start with the right focus, and that's how progress accelerates and you become unstoppable.
Len Arcuri [00:10:16]:
Your child needs you running on all cylinders now, and the fastest way to rise is with personalized one on one support. Get started today. Go to elevatehowyounavigate.com Sam.
