Episode 248 — Stop Guessing – PERSONALIZE Your Child’s NUTRITION
Guest: Julie Matthews • Date: March 20, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode is about the transformative power of food for you and especially your child. We’re joined by Julie Matthews, a Certified Nutrition Consultant and published researcher specializing in personalized nutrition for complex neurological conditions, particularly autism spectrum disorder and ADHD for over 20 years. The secret this week is… Stop Guessing – PERSONALIZE Your Child’s NUTRITION.
About Julie Matthews
Julie Matthews is a Certified Nutrition Consultant and published researcher who received her master’s degree in medical nutrition with distinction, from Arizona State University. She has specialized in children’s nutrition and complex neurological conditions, most notably autism spectrum disorder, for over 20 years. Julie sits on the Nutritional/Medical Advisory Board of the Autism Nutrition Research Center and helps children, families, and clinicians from 146 countries with her online resources, nutrition programs, and professional training courses.
Julie has educated parents and health professionals on how to use personalized nutrition and therapeutic diets to help children thrive at conferences in more than sixty-five cities over three continents including Medical Academy of Pediatric & Special Needs (MAPS), Integrative Medicine for Mental Health (IMMH), and American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine (A4M). She has been featured in newspapers and blogs, and on podcasts, radio, and television including CBS. She has co-authored peer-reviewed research studies demonstrating the efficacy of nutrition and therapeutic diet intervention for ASD.
When she is not studying the latest nutrition research, supporting families, or experimenting with new recipes in her kitchen, she can be found camping with her daughter, hugging redwood trees, and gardening.
You’ll Discover
Why PERSONALIZATION Is So Key (5:38)
A Step By Step Plan To Diet Changes (9:10)
Common Root Causes You Can Address With Diet (16:25)
Gut Issues Are Easy To Miss (20:48)
Intuition vs. Addiction (25:30)
Ways To Help Your Child Get On Board (29:58)
Why Comfort Foods AREN’T Helping Your Child (34:09)
The Balance To Strike (38:54)
Referenced in This Episode
Autism Health Summit April 11-13, 2025 in San Diego, CA - use code AHS50 for a discount
Full Transcript
Julie Matthews [00:00:00]:
Every child with autism is different. Like, every person is different. And some kids have more gut issues. Some parents say, I don't notice any gut issues at all. So the gut is a big one. Gas, bloating, constipation, diarrhea, inflammation in the gut, microbiome differences. I mean, there's a lot of good research on the microbiome and differences in the microbiome in kids with autism. That's a big underlying factor that we can use diet to support.
Julie Matthews [00:00:25]:
The inflammation is a huge one. Inflammation in the brain, systemic inflammation, inflammation in the gut. That's a really big one that we see in the science and foods trigger inflammation. Different in different people. Want to truly be the best parent you can be and help your child thrive after their autism diagnosis? This podcast is for all in parents like you who know more is possible for your child.
Len Arcuri [00:00:51]:
With each episode, we reveal a secret that empowers you to be the parent your child needs now. Saving you time, energy and money and helping you focus on what truly matters most, your child.
Julie Matthews [00:01:02]:
I'm Cass.
Len Arcuri [00:01:03]:
And I'm Len.
Julie Matthews [00:01:04]:
Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets.
Len Arcuri [00:01:18]:
Hello and welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. It's Len and I'm thrilled to welcome back to the show Julie Matthews. In episode 201, Julie explained how science supports diet changes. And this week we're diving even deeper into this topic. Julie is a certified nutrition consultant and published researcher specializing in personalized nutrition for complex neurological conditions, particularly Autism spectrum disorder and ADHD. And she's been doing it for over 20 years. She's the award winning author of Nourishing Hope for Autism and co author of two research studies that demonstrate the efficacy of nutrition and therapeutic diet interventions for autism. Her latest book just came out in March 2025.
Len Arcuri [00:02:07]:
It's called the Personalized Autism Nutrition Plan. Nourishing Hope for kids with asd, adhd, anxiety, and neurodevelopmental delays. It provides you, the parent, with a step by step guide for your child's unique needs. The secret this week is stop guessing. Personalize your child's nutrition. Welcome, Julie.
Julie Matthews [00:02:30]:
Thank you, Len, so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here.
Len Arcuri [00:02:34]:
Great. Well, wonderful to have you. And as we were talking before the show, I can only imagine the excitement when a book comes into being because, you know, even though people say you can write books fast, I'm sure this one has been very long in the making. So can you tell a little bit about what drove you to write this particular book?
Julie Matthews [00:02:51]:
Yes, absolutely. So I've been working with children and families with autism for 22 years. And I, over the years have developed a way of personalizing a diet and nutrition approach because it's what I found to be most effective. You know, every, every child is unique and everyone needs a diet that's unique. And I think that's on some level pretty inherent. You know, we all need a personalized approach to our life, how we walk through the world, how we eat, all of those things. So I put together a program and it's been working really well for families. And so I decided to finally put it into a book.
Julie Matthews [00:03:31]:
And as you are right, it, even though I had the program written for years, it took me years just to write the book.
Len Arcuri [00:03:41]:
And why is it? Because a lot of this is second nature to you. But to have the knowledge is one thing, but to be able to present it in a way that's digestible for particularly people where a lot of these concepts aren't well known, I can imagine that's got to be part of the challenge, right? Is putting it in a way that's digestive.
Julie Matthews [00:04:00]:
Yes. I always had the science, I always had, you know, the components. But you know, when you're doing a course or a program, you have 20 hours, 30 hours to present all the material. You have to be much more concise. In a book and let's say a course, you have, you know, 60, 70 slides in every single module in the book. You might have 12 images or you know, something like that. So they have to be very concise, very specific, very targeted. So it's just very different.
Julie Matthews [00:04:37]:
I'm used to giving lots and lots and lots of information. And in the book I really had to make it very concise and user friendly.
Len Arcuri [00:04:45]:
Right, right. Now that makes sense. When we talk about the secret in terms of this, this term personalized, that may seem obvious, but can you talk about what that means to you? Because I'm sure there's some concepts regarding food that are applicable to everyone. Right. Not just kids on the spectrum, but just everyone in terms of what's nourishing and what's not. But the term personalized in the way that you're defining it. Can you talk a little bit about that?
Julie Matthews [00:05:14]:
It's a really good question because a lot of people out there will say, oh, personalized nutrition. And maybe they mean what's your metabolic type? And they want, you know, and it's just like based on one small principle. For me, personalized nutrition is yes, there is a typically a foundation of nutrition principles that pretty much across the board for humans. But then there is A lot of nuance in there. You know, generally speaking, eating whole foods, you know, getting good sources of protein, having quality, way we raise the animals, having no pesticides in our plant foods. You know, those types of foods are concepts are pretty universal. But for me, personalized nutrition is really looking at the individual kind of biochemistry and underlying systems for that person that we can figure out through symptoms, through lab tests, through food reactions, and help figure out the best approach for that person. So we look at the microbiome and gut health and the mitochondria and energy levels and muscle tone and the immune system inflammation and all of those different types of things to figure out as well as of course, food reactions if you notice them.
Julie Matthews [00:06:38]:
You don't always notice them unless you do a special diet to really highlight their removal and then their addition. But yeah, those are the types of things that I would consider personalized nutrition.
Len Arcuri [00:06:50]:
Great. No, that makes sense. And it also kind of reveals a bit of the complexity where it's not as simple as this diet or do these few things. It is so incredibly nuanced to the individual. And I'm guessing you'd probably agree that overall you can kind of bucket it into two things to do. One is don't eat poison, and then the other one is to eat foods that help you thrive. And all those things that you mentioned, the different biomarkers and different ways of looking at it can reveal what is Someone's kryptonite may seem very innocent, but for that person, a particular food and ingredient might be something that's super important to defend against. And then what's going to help someone thrive? Even the most seemingly positive sounding foods that sound very nourishing for some people may be anything but.
Julie Matthews [00:07:41]:
Absolutely. I talk about that all the time, you know, things to add, things to avoid. So you're right on with that. And even in the studies, if we get into any of the studies, we discovered that healthy diets were valuable and certain things didn't work for certain people and needed to be avoided. So to us, a therapeutic diet involves both adding the good healthy things and removing the things that were a problem. So you're right on target there.
Len Arcuri [00:08:10]:
Great. And I love the fact that your, your latest book really does try to simplify it into a certain number of steps. Nothing too overwhelming. But even though this might be complex and it's kind of hard for a parent to do this on their own, right in isolation, not knowing what labs to run or what to look for, the fact that you've made it pretty sequential can you talk a little bit about the formulation of the plan that you've developed.
Julie Matthews [00:08:39]:
Yes. So it is very strategic. It always seems simple. But it actually took me a long time to figure out what to do, in what order, because we could do, I'll take a more restrictive diet, let's say like a ketogenic diet. And, you know, some people might jump straight to that diet. There may be good reason someone goes straight to that diet. But when we do that diet, then we are. If we just go straight to that diet, it's hard to know, was it because we moved artificial colors and preservatives, Is it because they eat more whole foods? Was it because they took out gluten? Was it because they took out grains? Was it because they did low carbohydrate, you know, they did high fat, they went into ketosis.
Julie Matthews [00:09:19]:
If you, you know, it can be hard to know at that point. So what I tried to do is do step by step things that I thought would be most easiest, lowest hanging fruit, most effective, and take people step by step through so that they could do the least restrictive diet and get the most benefits. It's always beneficial to have a robust diet that's varied in different foods. If we can tolerate them, if we can't, then we might want to limit certain things. So that's a lot of the approach I tried to take in the book was. And to. And in the process was to try to figure that out and also, you know, support picky eaters and parents along the way as well.
Len Arcuri [00:10:05]:
Got it. Yeah. No, you're using the ketogenic diet as an example. I immediately also thought about gluten free, where, you know, a lot of parents go gluten free and they see positive changes. But who's to say whether it's the lack of the gluten or if it's the fact that they're eating less processed food or generally cleaning up the diet in general, or just being more mindful? There's a lot of factors that could go into it, and that's where it's not as simple as, okay, all kids, particularly on the spectrum, must be gluten free, must be dairy free. Again, avoiding those two proteins can be very positive, perhaps for everyone. But for that particular child, is that something that the parent must do? Because I think sometimes parents hear, oh, I have to be gluten free, dairy free. And it causes an incredible amount of stress around food, which should be nourishing and uplifting.
Len Arcuri [00:10:58]:
It just creates a lot of anxiety. So in terms of parents who might have that conception in their head that there's certain must do's. What do you say to that?
Julie Matthews [00:11:09]:
Well, being personalized nutrition, there's never any must do's. So I've seen people do well with all different types of things, things that you wouldn't necessarily expect. I do think generally speaking that for most people, as you said, the gluten free and dairy free diet are very good choices. But I had one parent, she was trying to do a think was a specific carbohydrate diet, but her child wasn't getting better and they kept saying, well, you're just not doing it hard enough, you're not doing it strict enough, you need to go back and do it harder. And, and her child was getting worse, not better. And then. And she found out her diet, her child could tolerate dairy after all of that. Now granted, they might not have, they did other things right.
Julie Matthews [00:12:05]:
They didn't just, you know, give it all up. But you know, that does show you that there is some difference. Now just, it's, it's rare for me that I see people do well with dairy and gluten except if they've given it up for a period, sometimes of several years and then they've healed whatever was underlying. So again, it depends. Is this a kind of inherent thing that tends to be more just lifelong or is it something that they might be reacting to because their gut is inflamed or some other challenge that they're having? So even if I say most people do well with X, Y or Z diet, there might be a point where the diet evolves. In fact, for my practitioners, I always like the step, the last step, number six of six is evolve the diet. Because we don't want to always be on that same diet. I mean, none of us, I don't think are going to be on the same diet our whole lives.
Julie Matthews [00:12:56]:
Our whole lives. We're going to go through different life stages and different healing periods and any of us are going to change something from time to time.
Len Arcuri [00:13:06]:
Sure, no question yet. And that might be news for some people that, yeah, this is evolving. Even though that sounds obvious, I think it's easy. When you enter this world where you're trying to help your child, you're hearing about diet changes to be told immediately, okay, gluten's the villain, dairy's the villain. And it's off limits. And it's off limits for life. You know, like a lot of parents have a hard time dealing with that. I know I did.
Len Arcuri [00:13:30]:
Being Italian and having a diet that's based on dairy and cheese and bread and those things. So the idea is that particularly early on, if a child receives a diagnosis, you know, the reason they may hear to do a certain diet, whether it's gluten free, dairy free or some other diet, is that it's quite likely that perhaps the diet is contributing to that state of inflammation. Correct?
Julie Matthews [00:13:55]:
Yes. So to me, when I study different therapeutic diets, I'm looking at what's the, what I would call the mechanism of action, what makes that diet work? What is behind that diet? Why do people improve on that diet? And for some diets, like let's say a specific carbohydrate diet, it's really aimed at the gut and the microbiome and there are other diets for that too. And you know, like the low fodmaps diet, for example. So when we are looking at what's underlying factors for that individual, we might choose a diet that's best for them at that time. So, you know, that's why everybody is different. The diet they might need is different and the diet they might need might evolve over time because we're different. Things change. You know, we're going through life and then we get, I don't know, we go travel around the world or we get a intestinal bug of some sort.
Julie Matthews [00:14:52]:
Right. That is going to change our internal terrain possibly. And we might need a different approach if we're not able to, you know, just kick it out naturally or whatever that might be. Right. So yes, we want to look at all sorts of different factors to figure out really what's going to be the best approach for that person.
Len Arcuri [00:15:12]:
Absolutely. And I know a lot of what you do along with, you know, I know you work with parents, but you also work with practitioners and a lot of the practitioners you work with to empower them. They're all really root cause focused. Right. In terms of what's happening with that child. So from your perspective, doing what you do, what can you talk a little bit about common root causes that again can be addressed with diet changes or diet modifications? What just from 20 plus years of doing this, if parents are trying to understand, well, why would I make these changes? What's the root that it's addressing for my child? What can you say to that?
Julie Matthews [00:15:51]:
Well, there are a number of them that are the most common. Autism. Again, every child with autism is different. Like every person is different. And some kids have more gut issues, some parents say, I don't notice any gut issues at all. So the gut is a big one. Gas, bloating, constipation, diarrhea, inflammation in the gut, microbiome differences. I mean, there's a lot of good research on the microbiome and differences in the microbiome in kids with autism.
Julie Matthews [00:16:19]:
That's a big underlying factor that we can use diet to support. The inflammation is a huge one. Inflammation in the brain, systemic inflammation, inflammation in the gut, that's a really big one that we see in the science. And as you mentioned earlier, foods trigger inflammation different in different people. So some people it might be an allergy, some people it might be a sensitivity, Some people might be gluten, some people it might be oxalate or salicylate, or again, it does depend, but inflammation is a big one. And the good news is, is that food can either be anti inflammatory or food can be inflammatory. And some foods are more universally inflammatory like sugar or gluten. Other foods are really more inflammatory based on the individual.
Julie Matthews [00:17:11]:
You know, some people have peanut allergies, some people don't, some people have problems with oxalate, some people don't. So you know, there are some that, where the inflammation is going to be more personalized or for that person, mitochondrial function. Some people have more of a propensity for challenges with their mitochondria producing energy. And every cell of the body, from the brain to the gut to our skin to everything involves energy. And every cell produces that energy. So if your energy production is less, if your mitochondria is functioning less, it can affect any, if not every system in your body. And so there are certain ways to support your mitochondria better than others. And again, that even that is different depending on the individual, depending on how they're, how they can utilize energy, whether they can burn fats better or glucose better.
Julie Matthews [00:18:13]:
You know, different things like that. Detoxification is a big one. So some people, you'll notice are much more sensitive to artificial additives than other people. Some people, you know, people that are more robust and not as sensitive might say, oh, what are you talking about? Artificial colors and things like that, they, they don't do anything. Other people, they'll notice right away that the artificial colors create maybe it's hyperactivity or irritability. And that has to do with differences in how the person's able to process and detoxify those substances. So just those are four of them? Kind of off the top of my head.
Len Arcuri [00:18:51]:
Great. Yeah, no, I think that's all super helpful. I'm a, I'm a root cause thinker, so I'm Always trying to tie it back to that. And it sounds like what you're. What you just said is that, hey, for your child, the root cause might be that they're just inflamed or they may be toxic or they may be allergic. There's a lot of possibilities, which is why, again, having data and working with people who can help guide you through this. And that's why your book breaking it down to those simple to follow steps, I think is really powerful. Can we go back to the first thing that you mentioned, though, in terms of gut? Particularly for Cass and I, with our son Ry, it was easy.
Len Arcuri [00:19:31]:
We had such crazy, overt signs of gut issues. For him, 12 unformed bowel movements a day, lots of issues with his gut that we can visibly see. And so we knew he had gut issues, so we, of course, then were more inclined to take action. But for some parents, I know they'll say, hey, I see nothing. You know, my child has foreign bowel movements. My child doesn't seem like they have major gut issues. But from the kids that you've worked with, my guess is there's going to be some not small percentage of kids who do have significant gut issues with no overt signs that a parent might recognize. Is that true?
Julie Matthews [00:20:11]:
That is true. You know, like you said, in some cases it's really obvious, right? And you can tell other cases it might be, you know, having a bowel movement every three days. And, you know, maybe if other family members in that, you know, or people in the family have a history of that, they might not think much about it. Or you're not really noticing, especially if they're older, how often they're going. But then you really look at it, you're like, oh, God, I thought. Gosh, I thought it was every other day, but it's actually maybe sometimes every four days. You know, you start to realize, you know, there might be something going on there. So sometimes parents don't realize that certain things could be a sign.
Julie Matthews [00:20:57]:
You know, I met a man the other day who said, his whole life he's had gas. Now he's not on the spectrum, but his whole life, his stomach has hurt. And his whole life he had a bloated belly and gas, and he had no idea that that just wasn't normal. So sometimes that happens, too. It's not so overt that you notice. Like, you know, if you would notice 12 episodes of diarrhea a day, you would notice that, and you would go, okay, this person is uncomfortable. They're suffering. There's something that needs to be addressed.
Julie Matthews [00:21:31]:
But you might not realize that some of those other signs are a problem. Or you might just notice. Notice the bloated belly and just think, oh, it's always been like that, or do, you know, that's just, you know, whatever it is, and not realize that it's causing discomfort. Because some kids don't have language, and so it's not, again, so obvious, but on some level, they're having discomfort every day, but you don't notice it. So there are a number of things that there might be little signs and they just don't see them or they don't realize that they're really causing a challenge. You know, other times, sometimes people alternate between, let's say, constipation and diarrhea. So it's. Again, it's not.
Julie Matthews [00:22:16]:
So there's not a clear pattern. You know, it's just a mixed pattern. And then again, they may not notice that as anything irregular. So anyway, there are times where doing lab testing can identify things that they might not have realized otherwise. Or sometimes a problem has to get to such a point that you really notice it. So, for example, somebody that might have heartburn. It's hard to notice heartburn in a child, you know, if they don't tell you, I have heart, my it's hurting, it's burning. We.
Julie Matthews [00:22:53]:
Which a lot of kids can't necessarily articulate. Even if they have language, they don't always know to say something or how to explain it. And it might go on for a long time before you realize, oh, wow, there was something underlying that to address.
Len Arcuri [00:23:10]:
Yep. No, that makes sense. And going back to what parent, like, what for them to look for. I know it's very easy to normalize some of your child's behavior. That's just what they do. And it's hard to make the connection. So, you know, you talk about a distended belly. Some parents may just see that's just the way my child is and not really think that that is a sign of a bigger issue, you know, so that, you know, posturing and, like, pushing their belly against furniture is a huge sign, which, again, I didn't know anything about until, you know, finding people like you and finding at conferences where a lot of this was talked about.
Len Arcuri [00:23:47]:
And even something like picky eating might not just be your child being difficult as much as it is them giving you a sign of what foods might be problematic for them. And if they love certain foods, maybe excessively, that might be a sign that they're in some form of addiction. To something that's not serving them. So there's lots of clues. It's like to notice them is the first step, and then what to do about it. How do you respond is the second one, where, again, it's useful to have somebody who can help advise you with this, Because I don't think many parents have that expertise of knowing what to do in these cases.
Julie Matthews [00:24:25]:
Yes, I think that is the tricky part is that, you know, you could say, well, follow your intuition. If you don't want to eat a food, maybe that food is problematic for you. On the other hand, you could say, oh, they really love a food. That means their intuition is telling them it's good for them. That's not always the case. Right. Sometimes we crave the foods that are worse for us. Sometimes we don't want the foods that are better for us.
Julie Matthews [00:24:51]:
Sometimes that has to do with cravings like gluten and dairy will form opioids. And those opioids are literally like the same thing. Like opiates that you get, Morphine, heroin. They're very addictive. And so sometimes you crave the things that are the worst for you. Other times, you. Another example of craving the things that are worse for you. When we have yeast overgrowth or some imbalance in the gut, what's really interesting is if we think of those as, you know, if they're pathogens, you know, or.
Julie Matthews [00:25:26]:
Well, they are pathogens. Those pathogens in our body can actually influence the host us to engage in certain behaviors to perpetuate their existence. So a lot of times people have a lot of sugar cravings with yeast. And so another time where just because we're craving something doesn't mean that it's good for us. Other times a child might realize, oh, every time I eat apples or every time I eat spinach or, you know, I get some sort of a tummy ache or this or that. And so they will just not want that food. They might not even consciously realize why it is that they don't want that food. Food.
Julie Matthews [00:26:03]:
But they may or may not have consciously realized that, but they just don't want it. And it could be because it is creating, for example, heartburn. Heartburn is something that, you know, tomato sauce, for example, histamine reactions. You might think, well, they don't eat any vegetables. They're finally eating tomato sauce. But then they start shunning the tomato sauce, and you're wondering, well, why, you know, it could be that as well. So we do want to honor and listen to everything they're telling us from for sure. And then our job is to figure out why.
Julie Matthews [00:26:36]:
Why is that? Is it because they're craving the salicylates in that tomato and they should be avoiding it? Is it because it's creating a histamine reaction and we want to avoid it? I guess in a way it doesn't matter if we avoid it. However, it does give us clues as to broader dietary approaches that might be beneficial. So if it were salicylates, we might want to go further down the salicylate path. If it were histamine, we might want to go down the histamine path. So that's where I guess it does have some value in being able to understand the pattern at some point, right?
Len Arcuri [00:27:06]:
Yeah. No. So I think you're illuminating again, where this can get is like so specific for a child. Again, if you can notice those clues and understand what they might mean. But ultimately, I know for a lot of parents the big challenge is one knowing what diet change to make again, which we've already covered that. But then whatever it is that they might be looking to introduce, for a lot of kids, regardless of what they're dealing with, sometimes making any kind of changes outside of their go to foods, the ones that they're most comfortable with, is a huge challenge. And my guess is to some extent the child might be aware of what helps them and what nutrients might be useful. There might be some inner intelligence there, but otherwise there is that sense of safety where even us adults, we soothe ourselves with comfort food.
Len Arcuri [00:28:08]:
So if a parent's wrestling with that of just challenge to make any new food changes, swapping out something, maybe one of their child's favorites, or adding a new food, I know it's all in your book, but high level, what thoughts do you have for a parent who's wrestling with that issue, which is more the child just not going for any of it?
Julie Matthews [00:28:29]:
Yes, that one is a bit tricky. But there are things that I like to suggest often for my clients. So again, trying to understand why, what is behind why they don't want to make the change? Is it a sense of routine and something they're familiar with? Is it that the texture changed? So with pasta, I'm Italian too. So with pasta we like a certain tooth feel, a certain texture to that pasta. We don't want it mushy.
Len Arcuri [00:29:01]:
Al dente.
Julie Matthews [00:29:02]:
Yes, exactly. And so a lot of times with the gluten free pastas, they don't have that same al dente texture because gluten allows for that more easily than something like Rice pasta. So that for me means that instead of cooking it exactly as the label says, I suggest pulling it out 30 seconds faster or a minute faster, let it kind of cool a little and still cook a little bit like that rather than, you know, so really working on that texture, that can make a big difference. Maybe it's a matter of the container it comes in. Maybe it's a matter of the flavor is different. And so sometimes a small step by step change over time. So let's say it's milk. Maybe we do two things.
Julie Matthews [00:29:49]:
Maybe it's in a container they don't recognize and it's a flavor they don't recognize. So little by little, adding some of the non dairy milk to the milk in the container can help slowly increase and change it rather than going from one to the other where they notice it. So, you know, sometimes appearance, sometimes flavor, sometimes texture can all be good things. I like to try to add new things before removing things. And so making that substitute before we just, oh, we're taking out all the gluten, there's no more pasta, there's no more bread. Try to see if we can introduce that new gluten free pasta before we take out all the gluten sources. That way we have some go tos that we know can be successful because we might lose a few. Again, bread is very challenging to replicate that glutenous texture in a non gluten bread.
Julie Matthews [00:30:45]:
We can get close, but if we lose a food, at least we've got some other foods they can go to.
Len Arcuri [00:30:53]:
Yeah, I like that suggestion because you know, again, for a child or an adult, you take something away and that's, that is unsettling. So to start to add and then to slowly like titrate up a little bit in terms of introducing things, I think that seems like that's definitely a way that you're more likely to have success taking that approach than just cold turkey changing something or taking something away. Because again, I thought that that was a very helpful belief for me to have in my head, which is that from my son's perspective, these are comforting him. So the food is a way that he's self soothing, as we all do. So when you approach it from that standpoint, you can kind of, you know, address it in a more respectful way and more of a way that again, your child will feel better about. But ultimately, you know, it's unlikely your child's gonna be like, boom, okay, I'm on board with all these crazy diet changes you're going to make. So There is a case for persistence, right. You know, kind of happy persistence on the part of a parent.
Julie Matthews [00:32:01]:
Absolutely. And on the self soothe side, it's a totally reasonable thought, you know, and that we all, you know, we want our child to feel comfort, comforted and comfortable and all that. The one thing about food, and maybe this will help parents kind of get that little extra maybe motivation to do it even though they might be losing a self soothing mechanism is it's temporary, that self soothing. So if you imagine any like a drug, let's take, let's take gluten as a drug, you know, as an opiate. It soothes us in the moment, but when that effect goes away, the craving is even stronger and more problematic than if we didn't have it in to begin with. Or same thing goes with sugar. Sugar affects our neurotransmitters as well. If we eat sugar in the moment, we feel really good, but later we might feel hyperactive, we might feel depressed, you know, something else.
Julie Matthews [00:32:56]:
So while these things can self soothe in the moment, they're really not doing a long term favor of providing soothing comfort for the long term. They're actually detrimental to that. So just to encourage families that you're, you're not doing a disservice by changing these foods, you're, in the end, you are doing a service because in the end they will get comfort from other places and not the fleeting momentary comfort of the food that in the end is not really helping.
Len Arcuri [00:33:27]:
Right? Yeah, no, that's, that's very helpful. And yeah, it's about playing the long game. Right. And that may mean short term there's some unhappiness, some pushback, but, but yeah, this is a long game and you know, ultimately, you know, you're basically as a parent doing whatever you can on a number of fronts, including food that just help your child thrive. And that is a long term play as opposed to something, you know, know kind of just in the moment in a particular situation, you know, making changes. If you understand the big why, it makes it easier to withstand those harder moments where you may have a tantrum or a meltdown. But again, the key is really knowing why. And that's why I always felt like with parents, I mean, unless your beliefs about food and the power of food are aligned, it's really not even worth the effort because you do have to kind of have this big why and an understanding that's fueling your efforts because it's going to be even with your steps that are so well laid out, it's Going to be constant pivoting and course correction as you get more data, right?
Julie Matthews [00:34:37]:
Yes, yes. And it's not always easy. I don't want to make it sound like, oh, it's easy, and if it's hard for you, then there's something wrong. It's not easy to. Not easy for any of us to change our diet, but it is worth it. I just spoke with somebody yesterday, and, you know, we're just talking about how when. When they make that change, if they're able to recognize, wow, that was really hurting my tummy. That was.
Julie Matthews [00:35:04]:
You know, then it's easy to do the diet. Or as a mom, one of my. One of my clients said, you know, I'd rather be cooking all day with them happy than having them, you know, having food reactions and being, you know, in pain and upset and, you know, all of those kinds of things. So there is. There are a lot of benefits to doing it. But I do recognize it's not always easy. There's a lot of learning. And you're right.
Julie Matthews [00:35:33]:
You have to have everybody on board because you need those moments of support to get through some of the hard moments. And it's so easy to have so many times in our life where it's like, oh, well, it's grandma's birthday party. You know, just this one time, it's such a special occasion. Or, you know, there's. Whatever it is. Hopefully we can find other ways to do those celebrations. Maybe if it's Grandma's birthday, we can make a special cake and therefore everybody gets to celebrate. But if it's a.
Julie Matthews [00:36:04]:
A school function, what other types of things can we do so that the kids, they can participate. You're right. It's getting everybody on board so that when those hard moments come, we can be resourceful and come up with great. There's often great alternatives, but, you know, your brain needs to be thinking in solution mode, in problem solving mode. And if you're kind of one foot in, one foot out, or one person's a little out and you're the only one, it makes it really hard in those moments where it can get a little challenging.
Len Arcuri [00:36:35]:
Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. And that's where whatever you can do to stack the deck for success and it's this very hard to achieve. Not impossible, but hard to achieve. Balance between committing to whatever diet changes that you believe are going to be helpful for your child, committing and doing it really well, and also knowing you're not going to do it perfectly and it won't be 100% and giving yourself that forgiveness that if sometimes there is a slip or something happens. So it's finding that balance of committing and then doing it as best you can. Imperfectly.
Julie Matthews [00:37:11]:
Absolutely. I mean, we often say that you really need to do the diet 100% in order to notice benefits because even small amounts can cause reactions. So we don't want to intentionally be adding, you know, a cookie a week when they go to grandma's. But life is life and things happen and people are not always 100%. And, you know, even then in the studies that we did, we found that overall people did improve even if there were, you know, things that happen. I don't like to say that because I want Everybody to do 100% to get the true benefit of the diet. But if your goal is, I'm going to do my best to be 100%, but then life gets in the way and something happened not to give up because you just keep going. Because that does happen in life sometimes and it happens to the best of us.
Len Arcuri [00:38:08]:
Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. No. I think that there's a lot of really key insights that we've covered. I know there's so much more in your book, but to maybe just put a final kind of statement on it. If a parent sees the opportunity with and understands that diet's important and maybe just says, okay, well, I'm just going to eat it organic as much as I can. Maybe go gluten free, you know, that definitely may be a positive step in the right direction. But again, with what you've learned, make the case again for personalization and doing that extra fact finding and digging to really uncover what your child most needs.
Julie Matthews [00:38:51]:
Yeah, it's a great, it's a great question. Or I mean, a couple things. My brain is going in so many places because you've brought up several times this idea of what are clues, what, you know, fact finding mission. I think a great thing, especially if we're talking to people like yourself, dads out there in the world. I think dads are great at this. You know, give me a fact finding or give them a fact finding mission, you know, and they're on board. And that I think is one of the keys. I always say, put on your detective hat.
Julie Matthews [00:39:21]:
So I think that's a great thing for dads to just notice. Notice. Do you notice reactions? So let's say you're dabbling in the idea of like, do I need to do a low salicylate diet? Well, start noticing when you give them a snack. That's got Some of these raspberries and blueberries and strawberries or other things like that. Do you notice hyperactivity shortly after? Do you notice behaviors and challenging behaviors and things right after? It can be hard if you're not doing 100% out and then 100% test back in, but you can often notice if you're really trying to pay attention. So I think that's a key to personalized nutrition is what go on that fact finding mission, see what clues you can figure out, observe what's going on, maybe keep a journal if you can. If you can't keep a journal and maybe you just notice, wow, there was a lot of behaviors this afternoon. Let me think back.
Julie Matthews [00:40:16]:
What did we give him or her for the meal before? And that sometimes can go a really long way to help someone figure out. You know what, let me go dig into that diet, that chapter in the book, whatever it is, to see what are those common symptoms? Do they eat a lot of those foods? Do they have more of those symptoms that I didn't put two and two together? So I think those are some great things that parents can do. And the benefit of that personalized diet is that some people might be reacting to those foods, some people might be reacting to very specific foods within that category. So every time you give apples, you don't notice anything, but every time you give strawberries, you do. So that personalized level can really go a long way to help you figure out how to keep the diet as varied and interesting and healthy as possible. But take out those foods that are really a problem, because that will make it easier to do over time. If you only need to get rid of maybe five fruits that are the big problem, or you need to keep the total fruits down to one or two servings a day or whatever that might be, that's going to be a lot easier diet to do than something that would be more restrictive. So personalize helps the child feel better, helps to pinpoint what's going to help them thrive more, and helps it be more doable for the child and the parent.
Len Arcuri [00:41:39]:
Great. Now that's a strong case. And as you're talking, when I think about even though the work that I do in terms of coaching parents, the key is starting off with a real detailed assessment to see where they are. Specifically, because the one size fits all. Here's the sequencing, here's all the things, it's overwhelming and most of it's not on point. So particularly with what I saw with your book that I thought was extremely exciting is the idea of the system questionnaires that you have to help parents determine what's the right diet. Because, again, that is the big challenge. And I think you've made it easy for parents to kind of whittle it down in terms of what might make the most sense for their child.
Len Arcuri [00:42:24]:
Because otherwise, as you know, there's hundreds of diets and they all, they all are helping you to avoid something that's toxic for, for, for a person. And it's easy to look around and see toxins everywhere, saying, you know, what, what do I feed my kid?
Julie Matthews [00:42:38]:
Yes, and then you'll have water left at the end. There will be nothing left. It's very true. And I came up with those symptoms over many years of noticing those. And, you know, any one symptom might not be that compelling, but if you get four or five of those symptoms, what I call symptom clusters, then you're more likely to be onto something. And so you're right. I like to look at patterns in things and, you know, are they, do they have multiple symptoms in this area and multiple foods in this area that are common? And those are the types of things that I like to do to kind of help pinpoint a potential, you know, good direction to go down.
Len Arcuri [00:43:18]:
Well, fantastic. Well, I'm wishing you great success with the book and I know we'll see each other next at the Autism Health Summit in April. And yes, if you want to see Julie and or me, that's in San Diego, but otherwise wishing you best with this. And again, thank you for the very powerful way that you've been helping families for decades and continue to do so. So thank you very much.
Julie Matthews [00:43:41]:
Well, thank you. It's been a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Len Arcuri [00:43:45]:
Your child wants you, you to transform now, and the fastest way to do that is with personalized support. To learn more, go to allinparentcoaching.com intensive.
