Episode 221 — Stress is OPTIONAL, Fix Your ADRENALS
Guest: Dr. Tricia Pingel • Date: September 12, 2024
Episode Overview
This episode explores the hidden causes of parent burnout and how to overcome it. Dr. Tricia Pingel, the Adrenal Whisperer, shares her expertise on managing stress and balancing cortisol to help parents feel more calm and connected. Discover why stress is optional and how to fix your adrenals.
About Dr. Tricia Pingel
Dr. Pingel, the Adrenal Whisperer, is a leading naturopathic physician who specializes in stress & cortisol management. She has transformed & empowered countless women, guiding them from feeling wired and tired to a state of calm and connection. She has been featured on major TV shows and in publications like Mind Body Green and Prevention Magazine. Dr. Pingel is a bestselling author, a hip-hop dancer, a retired fashion model, and a visionary CEO shaping the future of holistic wellness.
www.facebook.com/DrTriciaPingel
You’ll Discover
The Power of Being In The Moment (3:48)
The 3 Stages of ADRENAL FATIGUE (12:20)
Something Your Body Was NOT Built For (15:20)
The Case For More Grace For Yourself (21:44)
A Fresh Way To Look At Your Child’s Behaviors (30:02)
The 4 Ways To Avoid Adrenal Fatigue (32:27)
The Key Action That Triggers Positive Change (37:57)
The Keys To Better Decisions (47:56)
Why It’s Not Just Stress (51:51)
Referenced in This Episode
Full Transcript
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 00:00
Our body needs to rest. It has to. It's not built to be in this fight or flight all of the time. In fact, it's only supposed to be about 20% of the time. And on average, we spend about 80% of time or more in this fight or flight. The other side of that is this rest or digest, the parasympathetic nervous system, which is where we repair cells. It's where we clear toxins. It's where we make hormones and balance hormones. We grow our hair, our nails. We take care of production of energy in the mitochondria.
So if we're always running... Right. And our body's always in this fight or flight. We don't do these things. That help keep our system in balance. And this is where you start to see symptoms in parents, which then impacts how you feel, which impacts how you parent. If you don't feel great. You don't parent well.
Cass Arcuri | 00:51
Want to truly be the best parent you can be and help your child thrive after their autism diagnosis? This podcast is for all in parents like you who know more is possible for your child.
Len Arcuri | 01:02
- With each episode, we reveal a secret that empowers you to be the parent your child needs now, saving you time, energy, and money, and helping you focus on what truly matters most, your child.
Cass Arcuri | 01:13
- I'm Cass. - And I'm Len. - Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets.
Len Arcuri | 01:29
Hello and welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets. It's Len and today we're talking about parent burnout. As parents, we know that crashing and burning is absolutely not the answer, but it's noteworthy how few parents take meaningful action to work on themselves.
So today my guest will shed light on one key cause of burnout that you may not be aware of. Dr. Tricia Pingel is the adrenal whisperer. She's a leading naturopathic physician who specializes in stress and cortisol management. She's transformed and empowered countless women, guiding them from feeling wired and tired to calm and connected. Dr. Michael McWatters: She's been featured on major TV shows and in publications like MindBodyGreen and Prevention Magazine. Dr. Pingle is the bestselling author. Hip-hop dancer, retired fashion model, and visionary CEO shaping the future of holistic wellness. The secret this week is... Stress is optional. Fix your adrenals. Welcome, Dr. Pingle.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 02:34
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. Let's dive in.
Len Arcuri | 02:38
Absolutely. Let's do it. Self-care. Every parent knows it's important. Very few parents do too much about it. Most of the time because of a reluctance on focusing on themselves and feeling in some way that's selfish or that's just not the priority right now, get to it down the road.
So you've obviously focused on this particular issue. I'd love to hear your thoughts on What can help a parent get over the hump with just literally getting this and taking action?
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 03:08
Yeah, I think as a parent, you always put everyone else first. And that's just what we're supposed to do to be a good parent. It's like we have this expectation that if we... Help everyone else. We're doing it right. But I think we often lose sight that when we try to control everything and we try to take care of everyone else at the expense of our own health, we actually don't do as good of a job because we're exhausted and we're wired and we're not sleeping well. And so in reality, it's quite the opposite. We have to take time for ourselves and we have to look at our own health so that we can better care for others. And that's, you know, what makes us a more effective parent. I don't think there ever is a perfect parent. I think we all strive for this to do everything right, make all the right choices, don't do anything wrong. And it's that actually takes us down. There's a lot of value there. In just being in the moment And just making the best decision that you can at that moment. And that is enough. And that is okay. And yeah, We're never going to do everything right. I have no idea how my kids are going to turn out. Every day, I'm just like, well, this seems like the right decision. We're going to run with it. And I'm going to take care of myself and take care of them. And we'll see what happens. And it's quite freeing and relaxing. And it really is. Stress is optional. We don't have to stress over it. We just have to make a decision. Be confident and trust the process. And that is what I think translates to our children in setting a great example for them, but In just caring for ourselves. It's an ongoing struggle, isn't it?
Len Arcuri | 04:53
There's so much truth into what you just shared. So many, and so many important concepts that it sounds great. But again, I think so much of what you just shared can just go in one ear out the other.
So I just want to focus on one part of what you talked about, which is a letting go, so a letting go of perfection as a parent, which, you know, again, everything I'm sharing I totally did and some of which I still continue to do, but this idea of letting go of being the perfect parent is so important and worth just lingering on. And then coupled with that is the letting go of how your kid's going to turn out, right? Because, you know I took a lot of ownership that was on me. There's such a thing as a good outcome. There's such a thing as a bad outcome. And just... Holding myself To that. High bar or to that outcome and holding myself to a standard of perfection, that is what instantly created an incredible amount of stress.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 05:59
Yeah, and it's interesting because obviously, We want to push ourselves. We want to set goals.
You know, we don't want to stay stagnant. So I think it's healthy to want to be better. But I think there's this perception of what better is. And we really have to self-reflect on what's better for us, right? It's not, you know, we're in a society where we have all this technology. We have all this input from other people. This is how you should do it. And if you don't do it this way, it's correct. And we make that our better when really it's that self-reflection on what's doing the best that we can with what we're presented with is what we really need to focus on. Nobody knows the right answer. We only know the answer from what we can do right then. And I grew up in an industry, right? Grew up in the fashion industry where everything is, you need to be perfect. You need to look perfect. You need to be quiet. You need to give us what we want. And it wasn't until later in my life that I realized that was their definition of perfect. Not mine. My definition of perfect is just being in the moment. If I'm in the moment, I don't, the decision is what it is, you know, but I spent so long at their definition of perfect. And I suspect that many of the parents listening and even just parents, anytime a baby is born, it's like we're inundated with information. Of what we're supposed to do. And as soon as you start parenting, you realize, well, my kid doesn't act like that.
Like I have to do something different. I have to improvise and I have to be in this moment. And so really taking the time, some advice is to really take the time on what does perfection mean to you?
And then really recognizing is that perfection defined by somebody else? Or by you. And that makes the goal a little bit different.
You know, we can grow and we can take opportunity, but it really doesn't matter what anyone else defines as perfect. It's irrelevant.
At the end of the day, it's between you and your kids. Right? And, I think we do really focus on that a lot in our society. And I think technology has driven that a ton.
You know, we're always on the go. And when we talk about adrenals, which I'd love to get into, so I know we will, is like we're in the woods, we see a bear and we react to that bear.
And then that fear of reaction creates more reactions. What if We didn't. React to the bears. What if we didn't? Have the fear surrounding the bear? What if it was a cute bear cub? Would our enjoyment in our life and our joy and our energy and our self-worth improve? Because we're not really worried about it? And I think the answer is absolutely. And I think when we're calmer and more connected, our kids are calmer and more connected. And our friends are calmer and our spouse and our work life and everything around us just starts to make sense. And if it doesn't, instead of being fearful of it, we look, okay, well, what are some small changes we can make to change that aspect that isn't bringing us joy or that isn't helping me stay calm? It's a bear that I need to figure out how to reframe. And that's what It's... Almost so simple that it almost seems impossible. We just have to change the way we look at that.
Len Arcuri | 09:12
Bear. It is simple and it can seem impossible. But it is just simply about giving yourself permission right, giving yourself permission to have that different perspective. And it's easy to say, okay, well, that judgment doesn't matter. What other people say doesn't matter. And even what you think about yourself doesn't really like it's all unnecessary, but it's all how we're all, we've all been taught and wired and social media even more so is constantly judging and reminding you of what's what, how much better it is for other parents or other kids.
So that's where it's a really powerful concept that all that stress from judgment is optional. You don't have to subscribe to it and you don't have to let it impact how you're showing up every day for your.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 10:05
Child. Yeah, and I promise you, those people that say you have to do it this way and they look perfect have their own problems as well. I think what we've lost, I think, a lot with social media is More so even than the, you know, idea that we have to be perfect or following other people and judgment, but more so we've lost community. Oddly enough, here we are connecting through this platform, yet we're losing our home. We're losing our community of support. And when you lose community, you feel alone. And when you feel alone, you're more open to judgment. And so I think we really do need to go back to the basics of just being vulnerable and sharing that we're not always okay.
Like I am not always okay and that's okay. But being able to reach out and connect with someone that has similar experiences or just to vent. Or just to go take some time for yourself and actually... Commit to that is okay, right? I think we've lost a lot of that community and I'd love to bring it back.
So I'm so thankful for what you do because it does form a community that allows people to really understand that we all have a different journey and What we do is based on our journey and not someone else's journey. And that is enough. That's.
Len Arcuri | 11:22
Right. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. And yes, it's, you know, there is no, you know, step by step. There's no, you know, here's exactly what you need to do. Everyone's unique. Your child's unique. You're unique.
So in simplest terms, right, it's about Stop doing things that are adding more weight and causing more friction and then move on to doing more, take more actions that actually help you, help your child. And that's where it's this equation of this, you know, with too much weight, you will start running on fumes and burning out. There's a lot of causes of burnout, but one specific one, which I think, which I'm excited for us to talk about is this concept of adrenal fatigue, because I think most people listening have at least heard of it, have some awareness of it, but can you give us a little bit deeper dive into that particular, I would even say is a root cause of burnout, one of many, but a really key one?
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 12:19
I mean, the adrenal glands, which sit on top of your kidneys, release a hormone called cortisol. And cortisol is involved. It has its hands in every single process in our body, our cardiovascular system, our gut health, our brain health, our mood, our thyroid, our hormones, right?
So the way I like to look at this to explain adrenal fatigue is it comes in three different stages for the most part. You've got stage one where it's just you're a rock star. You're on top of the world. You can do everything on no sleep. You are rocking it. You're doing everything right. Your schedule is packed.
So be it. Run, right?
And then there's stage two, which is where I find most of the people that come to me are in, which is a rollercoaster stage. Sometimes you're fine.
Sometimes you're not. And you can relate that to any symptom. It could be anxiety, depression, sleep, energy, thyroid hormones, hair loss, weight gain.
And I think this is a misnomer because we call it adrenal fatigue and people automatically assume I'm only talking about stage three. That they're done, they're, you know, they have chronic fatigue, they can't get out of bed. And I find the majority of the people are not that. They're literally trying to do everything. And their body is giving them random symptoms that are being misdiagnosed, underdiagnosed, mistreated, or they're just thrown medications with no other solutions.
So That's where I'm going to spend some of my time because I think there's a lot of people that really are in stage two that are not aware that that's what the situation is. So when we talk about the adrenals, I had mentioned kind of like running.
So if you think about it, you're in the woods, You're hiking. Enjoying your day. And around the corner becomes a bear. What do you do? Right. Your heart rate goes up. You focus in on that bear. All your energy is diverted to your muscles and all you think about is running. Everything's a split decision. Right. This is kind of a stage one response. It's a fight or fight response. We're just running. That's all we're doing. All we care about is how are we going to get away? Now, we were built to do that. And that was built to save our lives, which is awesome. In fact, it's quite incredible that we can downregulate all of the things that are normal function in order to save our life. It's incredible. But... In our society, we get away from one bear, we turn the corner, and there's another one. And there's another one. And there's another one, right? And so what we do is we start to adapt to that. And our body starts to anticipate the next bear. We get away from one and it's automatically thinking, okay, I better prep. There's going to be another one that comes around the corner. And let's say you want to sit down and take a nap.
So you lay down by a tree. And you start to fall asleep and your brain goes, wait. There was a bear. Where was it?
So now our sleep starts to get impacted. We're thinking about things in our sleep. We're being woken up at night in our sleep. Our body needs to rest. It has to. It's not built to be in this fight or flight all of the time. In fact, it's only supposed to be about 20% of the time. And on average, we spend about 80% of time or more in this fight or flight. The other side of that is this rest or digest the parasympathetic nervous system, which is where we repair cells. It's where we clear toxins. It's where we make hormones and balance hormones. We grow our hair, our nails. We take care of production of energy in the mitochondria.
So if we're always running. Right? And our body's always in this fight or flight. We don't do these things that help keep our system in balance. And this is where you start to see symptoms in parents, which then impacts how you feel, which impacts how you parent. If you don't feel great, You don't parent well.
I mean, I remember being so burned out from running a practice. And I think my first son must have been about two, maybe three. And I was in the kitchen and I was there in present, but my brain was running, right? About everything I had to do. And he walked up and he was like, hey, mom, can I have a sandwich? And I blew up at the kid.
I mean, just like what? And I'm sitting beating myself up afterwards as a parent. And I had to realize that my reaction was because my brain was already anticipating a problem. It didn't hear him. I wasn't present. I was there, but I wasn't there. And that was a huge moment for me when I realized that I'm being run by this bear. This bear dictates everything. My reaction. And I had to make a change. To not let that bear impact me in such a way. And that meant that I had to back up. I had to say no. I had to really look at Am I overloading myself with stimulation? And this is where, I mean... What's a bear? It doesn't have to be a divorce or money problems. We all have external stressors that happen every single day. But there are internal stressors like a deficiency in vitamin C, you know, a deficiency in B vitamins, maybe not enough water, not enough nutrition. There are things inside our body that can cause a stressor as well. And when you start noticing these little snappy moments, you know, You start noticing like you're outside your body, you're losing your fun, you're losing your joy, you're overwhelmed by the situation. It typically means that you need to back up and start really giving yourself some nutrition.
Some nurturing some love, you know, and, You're in that stage two where the cortisol is going up and down all the time. And there's a lot of bears that need to be reframed.
So I hope that gives some inspiration to some to realize that those moments are not moments to beat yourself up. They're moments to say, Okay. My body is telling me, I need to slow down a little bit. And I need to listen. I'm pushing myself beyond my limit. I'm anticipating bears that I don't need to anticipate. What can I do to slow down, refocus and get back in my zone? And that's as simple as it is. It's recognizing those moments. That's step one. You have to recognize when those moments are happening so that you can take appropriate action and not dwell on it. We all do it. We've all yelled at a kid for something, whether it's a sandwich. Broke. Anything else. And we've all beat ourselves up. It's normal. I'm told. What are you going to do about it the next time is the question, right?
Len Arcuri | 18:53
Yeah, no, absolutely. It's all true. But it goes back to how do you get to a place where you can notice those moments?
Yeah, because it's, you know, and I know you mainly in terms of coaching are more focused on moms, I guess, perhaps it's more of an issue for moms and dads, or maybe just moms are looking for that help and dads aren't. But, you know, for me, I, what I play in my head is like, just play through it, right? Just like this. Don't dwell, like don't, There's more important things to do.
So it's easy to... Dismiss if you notice, but it's even easier just not to notice.
Yeah. How does somebody... Cultivate that kind of different lens to look at things through to notice when they're in stage two.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 19:39
It starts with recognizing what it feels like to not be in fight or flight. To truly be relaxed. And when you're talking about men and women, I have no doubt that fathers do the same thing. I'm just not a guy.
So I don't know that internalization of it. I can speak to moms because I'm a woman with all the hormone fluctuations that happen. And I talk to women on a daily basis, but I have many clients who are men and they have very similar experiences. It's just a different interpretation, I think. And some of the tools... That are used for them sometimes are a little bit different than for women because it comes down with recognizing what keeps you in a calm and connected state. For me, I dance. That's what I do. And when I was starting to recognize this peanut butter sandwich example, I said, okay, Trisha, what did you do when you were a kid? That truly gave you joy. That you connected with and forgot about the outside world? And my answer was, listen to music and dance. My dad was a musician. I woke up, Every single morning to him plucking the guitar in the kitchen.
You know, I danced. I loved music more than anything. And when I really looked at it, I was like, when was the last time? That I danced. I really danced.
So I started dancing with my children. I started turning on music. We had dance parties. And I found so much joy in that I thought, okay, this is something I can do for myself.
So I went back to dance class. At 40-some years old, my mom had just passed of cancer. I was devastated. I was alone. I was heartbroken. I felt like I couldn't, almost couldn't go on without her because she was my community and I thought, okay, I'm going to go back to dance class. And I immersed myself into a class with a bunch of 14 year olds, which was frightening. Absolutely frightening, but... What it taught me was when I'm in that moment and I'm learning choreography, I don't have room in my brain to worry about anything else. I just can't. I can't get the routine if I'm not present. And what I started to notice is I would come out of class and I was like, the days that I couldn't get the routine, it was because I was thinking about what I had to do tomorrow. What did I do today? Beating myself up over not getting the routine, all these things that we do. And I started to recognize how often I actually do that. I beat myself up over everything. As soon as I just said, I go into class every week and I was like, you know what? I'm just going to do what I do. I'm just going to enjoy the music. If it comes out like it's supposed to, so be it. And what's interesting is the minute I did that and I just let go and I just felt the music and I allowed my right brain to take over instead of this analytical, do everything right, left brain. I started to dance. I started to dance well. I started to get the routines. I started to learn more at every single class. And I've been dancing three to four hours a week ever since. It's been eight years. And I come out of class and it's, I'm the happiest person. Thing in the world. I could leave going to class with all sorts of chaos in my house and stressed out, but come home completely connected. And such a better parent.
So I think... Recognizing it is important and then saying, okay, am I putting too much energy into this right now? Maybe let's just find something creative. My mom started painting again when she was going through chemo. That helped her get through chemo. She just paint it.
You know, what is it creative that you used to do as a kid? Did you play with Legos? Did you go outside? Did you play football? Did you dance? Did you listen to music? What did you do? When you were grounded and you were sent to your room, right? What brought you joy? Did you play? We just don't play as adults. Anymore. We just... We don't have funds. And That's a huge skill that I think we're losing. We just need to have fun. And that will help you find it. It won't be immediate. But you'll get there. Just every day. Just try to do something that brings you a little bit of joy, that brings you fun, and you will start to notice what your body feels like when it's truly relaxed.
And then you can recreate it. You know, it's real easy for someone to come out and say, well, you need to meditate every day. And that's great. But if you don't know what that feels like, it's really hard to achieve it. We need to breathe every day. Absolutely. We do. We don't breathe well enough. Breathing is amazing. Absolutely amazing for reducing this bear. If you don't understand what that means or what it feels like to be truly relaxed, it's hard to commit to it.
So to find what that feels like, find something that brings you joy. That you truly enjoy. Then when you realize what that feels like to be calm, when you do these breathing exercises, you will know if you get there. Because you'll start to feel that calm and you'll be like, that's what the parasympathetic nervous system feels like. I want to be in that more.
And then you can add more and more techniques, breathing, meditation, Tai Chi, yoga, journaling, really exploring what it feels like to just be you and authentically you is a very freeing experience. And when you feel that it plays out in the rest of your life. Most of the people listening, I know most of my audience probably think, okay, I got a checklist. I'm going to breathe every day. Okay. Check. Okay. I'm going to do meditation every day. Check. Free yourself of that. Just be. And when you're frustrated, turn on some music. Dance! Let loose, scream, run around the block, do something that you used to do when you were frustrated as a kid to let it out. It's okay to not have this perfect checklist. It will come as you move through this process. And that's one of my best advice. Find that joy. And if you can't find that joy, ask your community. What was I like as a kid? What did I really love to do when I got in trouble or when I was alone? What did I do? If you've forgotten, which... You can forget.
I mean, if you're running from a bear all the time, you're not going to remember where you ran. You're not going to remember the color of the flowers. You're not going to even always remember what direction you ran. And you end up in this location and you're like, How did I get here? Who am I? I don't even remember. Ask your community, who was I? What did I love to do? I had to ask my friends, what was I like as a kid? I forgot. What was I like as a teenager? What did I love to do? And everyone was like, well, you.
Len Arcuri | 26:08
Danced. Yeah.
Well, with time, with decades, right? It's easy to forget. And I think that's a phenomenal suggestion just for everyone to reflect on, you know, where their joy is. What do they... Truly love doing, and it's almost like a Trojan horse, I think is what you're suggesting is, Instead of the goal being a checklist of things to do as part of your morning routine, you know, it's really just one item. It's like, how can you get present? And get to that calm state.
So what you're suggesting is whatever it is that brings you joy, and it doesn't have to be a long amount of time, right? Just a short amount of time. Get connected to what that feels like, because once you see you remind yourself what that feels like, then you can generalize it to other modalities, like maybe doing meditation, but really doing it right, like really allowing yourself.
So that's where I'm like, it's a Trojan horse where you start with one thing that you clearly love to do. So there's no resistance.
And then once you reconnect to that. That feeling, then you can leverage it across other ways and maybe expand the amount of time in a given day that you're filling up your cup.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 27:14
Yeah. I mean, how long is a song on the radio?
Like. 90 seconds to three minutes.
So all of us have that favorite song. I mean, hilarious because people have me do this all the time, but like I love Salt-N-Pepa and I can rap shoot all day long. I did a reel about it because I literally know every single word. I don't know how.
Sometimes I don't know where my keys are, but I certainly remember all the words to shoot. I can turn that on. And sing it. And I'm like a whole new person afterwards. I'm like revived.
Like it just pick something that you like and just do it. It could literally be 90 seconds to just snap you out of that moment. And Here's the cool thing. When you start doing that, your kids are watching you.
So they start doing that. Like what brings them joy? It may not be what brings you joy, but start observing them. What makes them smile? What makes them laugh? What brings them joy, right?
And then you can start cultivating that for them and sharing in their joy. And they can share in your joy. And now you've connected this energy That just changes your entire energy in your household because all it takes is one person in a bad mood to bring the whole family down. Right.
So how do we look at each other's joy and then support each other's process through that, too? I don't know what a perfect parent is, like I said. I don't know if that'll work for you, but it works in my household, you know, to just let people be their authentic fun selves and not be shamed for just being strange and odd and weird. At times it's okay to sing Shoop around the house and everyone stares at you and laughs at you. It is okay, you know, and it's fun. Why not?
Len Arcuri | 28:54
Yeah, no, it all comes down to letting go of the judgments, letting go of your own, you know, tension that you might be holding. Again, all well intentioned, trying to do the best you can as a parent. But I think the theme here is just that there's so much that we as parents do that may be well intentioned, but it absolutely just creates friction and it makes it harder for us to get what we really want.
So some focus on yourself. And just, it dawned on me that Hopeful thing for parents might be to think while you're figuring out what brings you joy and how you can connect to that relaxed state and again, how you can help your child do that. Just be aware that perhaps some of what your child might be doing now. You may be looking at saying that's not okay. That's stressful. Other people aren't going to like it. Perhaps what your child's doing is what Dr. Bingle is recommending, which is they're doing something that for them is joyful. It's comforting. It's soothing. Even though you look at it and the rest of society may look at it and say, That is not okay.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 30:00
That is 100% what I'm saying. Like, look at that.
I mean, we place these behaviors on what kids should do or not do. But to me, I kind of always look to my kids and like, well, are they having fun with that?
Like, looks like they're having fun. I think it's weird, but you know what? Heck, They're having fun with it. It's not disturbing anyone else. They're just doing their thing. And I think... That's lovely.
I mean, you know...
Yeah. Sometimes I don't know what my kids like. I don't understand football. They love football. I literally am like, I couldn't imagine going outside and throwing the football all day, but they... Isn't that great?
You know? And that's fine. And my son, when he was little, my youngest, he used to love to pick up the karaoke machine and just I wouldn't even call it singing. He would make all these noises in the karaoke machine, you know, and we're like covering our ears like my God. But I'd look over. And the smile On his face, I was like, all right, dude, like, Felt it.
Like we'll tell the neighbors, it'll be okay. Just enjoy this moment, you know?
Len Arcuri | 31:05
And facial expression is important because I would throw out there, at least for my son, who's very different now, but particularly when I think back when things were most challenging, the behaviors were most extreme, I would guess right now that 80% of the time when he was doing something, he had a huge smile on his face. Not 100%, but most of the time, it wasn't a problem for him and he was doing something that was joyful for him. I was the one who had the problem with it.
So that's where, again, it's just helpful to look at things perhaps through that lens And, you know, this whole discussion we're having here about adrenal fatigue, if you're not willing to work on yourself and to start to fill your cup for yourself, which I know I had a hard time accepting. Trust us, Doing this for your child is not a small move. It could be the biggest move you make.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 31:58
And you're not helpful if you're in bed all day, you know, or if you don't feel good about yourself. I like to catch people when they're in that stage one or stage two before they hit that burnout because it's just little changes that really have to be made. And if you're someone who's seeing... And other sorts of health symptoms like hypothyroidism or perimenopausal symptoms or low testosterone or, you know, weight gain or high blood pressure or things really looking to the internal, the nutrition in the body. I look at it from four different aspects. You have to give the body nutrition. You have to give it movement, but perhaps it might be more relaxing movement than you think. It might be more strengthening with Pilates or yoga or Tai Chi or walking versus Orange Theory and pushing yourself to the limit, trying to get that work in, that workout in at the last minute.
You know, that isn't helping. You should be calm when you work out. Otherwise, you're not doing yourself any service because your body's running from a bear.
So it's going to divert the resources to running from a bear. So you need to be calm when you work out. And I think that's a big secret that a lot of people don't think about. Supplement, work with someone that can supplement the areas that your body needs while you work on accessing the parasympathetic nervous system. And the number four is mindset, which is what we've been talking about a lot. You can't heal adrenal fatigue without looking at all four areas. And odds are you're probably really good in one or two of those areas and not so good in one or two of those areas.
So really looking at where you can improve to just take this as a long game. One of the ways I look at health, which is somewhat helpful, is If you were saving for retirement financially, you would put a little bit of money in a savings account or an IRA every single month, right?
So that when you retire, you can go off and travel and do whatever you want to do, right? Health is the same way. You have to put a quarter in the bank pretty much every day. It, You know, we don't think about that. One of my goals in life is to I want to be able to go to Disneyland as a grandmother, even a great grandmother, and walk the entire park and ride roller coasters. I don't want to be in a wheelchair. I don't want to be, grandma has to sit on the bench. She can't be part of it. My goal is to be very active for the rest of my life. I can't do that. I can't travel the world when I retire if I don't put a little bit of money in the bank every single day. It is a long game. And there is no expectation that you can become healthy in three months or six months. You can get significantly better, but you still have to deposit into that bank. And so I think with all of this, even this tips we're talking about, this is about little changes. Every single moment, every single day, improving on it just a little bit. Getting a little bit better at it. And if you don't, just realizing why you didn't. Why didn't I dance today? Well, so-and-so got in my way and I made all these excuses and I didn't go. Okay, well, I'm not going to do that tomorrow. I did that today. Oops.
You know, tomorrow I'm going to try to recognize that and not do that. And it's just about little changes every single day to benefit your health. And that will repair your adrenal glands. It.
Len Arcuri | 34:54
Will. But it's got to be a priority because if it's a, when I get around to it, if I like, Hey, this is great. But, and that's where even the concept of saving financially, right. That makes perfect sense. But again, I can totally see because this is what I did. Yeah. That makes sense. But a couple of years, once I get this figured out and things get working in a better direction for my child, then I'll start that up.
So it's this kicking the can down the road, which, again, I've done in many ways and many aspects of my life and constantly trying to get better. But here again, I think a big objection people might have is, yeah, this sounds great. Maybe I'll listen to this in a year when things improve and maybe then start taking action.
So what would like how do you help parents improve? To wake up and see that this is a top priority, not just, you know, when you get around.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 35:43
To it? It's a great question. And I've thought about this question so often as I talk to people every single day and I'm like, okay, what do I need to say to get them to understand how beautiful they are in the moment they're in? Because from the outside, looking at somebody else, like I look at people, like it makes me tear up because I look at people and I see this beautiful, loving person.
Soul. Right. And I see that they don't see it. And I'm like, what can I say? To remind them that they are in this moment because they are meant to be in this moment. And that their future relies on them. What they choose to do. How do I make them choose? Because it's easy to say, I'll start after Christmas. I'll start in the summer. All I can say is... There is no harm at all. Was starting today. On something. There's no harm in dancing to in the morning for 90 seconds. There's literally nothing negative that will come out of that. At all. It could be as simple as that. Once an hour sitting down to breathe, once an hour just sitting on this silly little cell phone we have that produces all these bears setting a reminder every couple hours that says, Hey, check in with yourself. How are you doing? We can all do that right now.
Like this instant, we can all pull out our phone right now because it's probably in our pocket and we can write a little reminder to ourselves every two hours to check in with yourself. How's my mood? How am I holding my body? How do I feel? I don't know how to get people to do that except to say, That there is no harm in just trying today. That's it.
You know, and once you do, you will make more time for it. I'm not asking anyone to overhaul their entire diet. Those are the things you start after Christmas, right? When you're like, okay, man, I'm going to have to prepare everything. All I'm asking one minute. Every hour if possible. I'll even say every two hours. Set a reminder to check in with yourself. Start with that. And that can be done today. That is easy. You can do it. It doesn't take you away from your life. It just, gives you a moment to reflect. Reflection is the best starting point.
Len Arcuri | 37:58
That all makes sense. And as you're talking, I keep going back to my analytical mind, which is everything's a cost-benefit calculation that goes on inside my brain, at least. And so not taking action like this, setting that reminder and doing it couple minutes a day, right? We're not talking about a lot of time. Unless I'm really in my mind convinced that the benefits from that exceed the cost, how could I better deploy that time? That to me is what I'm trying to bring out more consciously. To help me take the actions that are easy to downplay or to deprioritize.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 38:38
Yeah, I mean, that instinct to not do it is the bear. That's your bear. And it's cortisol saying, no, we don't have time. We got to run.
Like, I don't have time. Don't stop and smell the flower. My God, we're going to die.
Like, don't run. You know? I think we have to start recognizing that in ourselves so that we can get a hold of that. We have this instinct to control everything and that's awesome, but we're not controlling the number one thing that's controlling us. We are not in control when the bear is in control at all. We have literally no control. When cortisol is in control. None.
So this perceived idea that we're controlling everything and getting everything done is hilarious because it's the bear, right? I get so much more done when that bear isn't there. And I'm completely relaxed.
You know, So yeah, it is. We get in this fight between ourselves and that's going back to what can you do to access the right brain? What can you do to bring joy when you feel stressed, when you feel like you have to do everything all the time? That's when you tap into that right brain. You tap into that creative side. You do something creative. Play-Doh with the kids. I don't know.
Something that's, you can touch, you can feel, you can be present in. And that's the magic. And all I can say is, Every single person out there listening, you are a beautiful... Well-deserving soul. And you deserve it. To feel good, and be present in your moment. If I can get personal for a minute, There was a point in my life where this changed for me. And maybe... I hope it doesn't take this for everyone out there to do this, but maybe it will help shed some light. It was when my mom... My mom was diagnosed with cancer the last year of her life. She was going through chemo and this was about a month before she died and she would come stay with me for a weekend and I would feed her and, you know, take care of her and we'd curl up and watch HGTV because that's what we did. We liked remodeling.
So we were curled up in bed watching HGTV and I said, mom, is there anything in your life that you regret? You know, knowing that she wasn't going to make it.
Like we both knew she wasn't going to make it. And she said, you know, I've thought about this and she said, there's only one thing I regret in my life. And she said, and that's spending so much time worrying about that 10 pounds. That I wanted to lose. Because I would give anything in the world for that 10 pounds right now.
I mean, she was 5'10", 90 pounds, couldn't walk to the bathroom by herself. And I started to think, my God, I get up every day and go to the bathroom. I don't even... Think about it. I get in my car. I run errands. I have kids around me. I have... A job.
Like I have all these things that I don't even think about. And if anything, I'm annoyed by them. I'm like, I got to stop and go to the bathroom. "Jeez, I got all this to do. I don't have time to go to the bathroom." And I started to think my gosh, I may not be here tomorrow. And I'm sitting here worrying about all these little things. And I'm not even thinking about all the wonderful, beautiful things that I get to do on a daily basis and changing that have to get to. Ugh. I have to go to the store and get groceries. No, you get to go to the store and get groceries. That's awesome. She couldn't.
You know, and I started, that was a moment for me that really changed my life because I thought, and I lost my dad when I was young and the rest of my family has passed on. She was really the last one to go. And I was only 40 years old and she was only 69. And a year previous, she was vibrant.
You know, very present part of my life. And now she's gone. And It really took a moment like that for me to really realize the value of how many beautiful things that we have to offer the world and how these moments that seem so run down and seem so stressful and seem like you're never going to overcome them are actually some of the most beautiful moments in your life. And you are meant to experience them, there's a lesson there. There was a lesson for me to watch my mom die. It was horrible. But it was beautiful to grab a lesson like that from her and then be able to pay it forward to other people to hopefully change their life. There's a lesson in every single thing you do every single day. There's a benefit in everything you do every day. And just by starting to recognize that can make a world of difference in your life. And I hope that helps maybe help some of you just set that few minutes a day. Just a few. And be thankful when you have to go to the bathroom.
Len Arcuri | 43:28
Earlier, like before they turn five or seven or whatever number's going around, A lot of parents are operating with that mindset that it's a race and they can't waste any time and they can't dare to slow things down. They can't dare to invest in themselves and fill their own tank because their job right now is to find answers for their child. And again, I say all this because I was totally there for a long time and I threw stones at anyone who said to dance. Or to do Play-Doh or to do any of that.
So fortunately, my wife Cass and I had some great influences early on who showed us, you know, how the importance of true presence and different ways of doing that. And I love that what you do is really to help parents understand tap into that because unless they do, You know, it's... Effectively, I think so many parents are immediately set up on the wrong road. It is a road to burnout. It's a road that is crashing and burning unless you do something about it.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 44:35
Like I said, lots of checklists do this and that. We don't know what's going to happen. We just don't. We just try. That's all you can really do. I, You know, and I'm sure that your audience has a lot of experience with that, you know, change the diet, you'll see progress, do this, you'll see progress. And sometimes the progress doesn't happen.
And then you feel like, I did it wrong. No, it just wasn't meant to happen at that moment, I guess. And you just... Adapt and you pivot. That's the beauty of our adrenal glands actually is our ability to adapt. Right.
Well, we need to adapt them in the right way. We're adapting them to the bear when we need to adapt them to the path that shows up. Out of nowhere on our hike. We're like, that looks pretty. Let's go there. Okay, that's cool.
And then you end up in someplace you never ever thought you would be. If you just, if you start on the path, you already know what you're trying to go for.
Sometimes the beauty is in the stuff that's in the side path. The diversion, the adaptation and connecting with the energy in the world to just trust that it will actually guide you there if you just sit back and listen. And That's the beauty. That's the beauty moment. That's when my eyes sparkle when I see... My clients go my God, I took a different path. And I never even imagined I would be here. This is so much better than I ever thought. And that's, I mean, I'm sure that's why you do what you do. It's like seeing that happen, seeing that transformation in both the parent and the child. Just from that moment of just trusting and enjoying and being in the moment. It's why I stay in medicine. It's why I show up every day to work.
Yeah. And the moment that doesn't happen, I'm out. I'll go take a different path.
Len Arcuri | 46:16
No doubt, but you're right. I mean, it's just everyone's set up for failure, in my opinion, parent and child on this journey in terms of what they're experiencing.
So you talk about that. The different paths. And yeah, I think it comes down to having a flexibility about how you're operating and that mindset and that curiosity. But again, if you're stuck in a sympathetic state where you're just really hyper focused on some outcome that you're wanting. And that's where, again, it comes down to what do you, as a parent, what do you want to be? If you really want to be the best parent, you can be for your child, for your unique child. That's super awesome. And that requires you filling your tank and working on yourself. If your objective though, and I say this with all respect, if your objective is to be a martyr and to kind of like, you know, Just... Persevere and beat yourself down, allow yourself to beat yourself down, obviously it's not helping you and that is absolutely not helping your child or anyone else.
So that's where it's about alignment If you want to be that best parent who can figure this out, figure out what's going to help your child the most, whatever that might be, then there is no choice but to work on yourself, fill your own cup. And that's where this concept of adrenal fatigue, I think, is important because there's a physical manifestation there. Of neglecting to work on yourself.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 47:49
Yeah, because you have to make that split decision on how to run. You don't get to choose where you run. When you see the bear, you just run, right? And so we start to live our lives in split decisions. And just making these quick decisions when if we had a moment to look at all the different options of where we could run. When the bear came along and we could really think about where we wanted to go, we are a lot more clear. In our destination. You can't pick your destination when you're constantly running. And I do. I think you make a great point about, you know, they get this diagnosis, parents get these diagnosis and they just want to do everything. They're hyper focused on it. But when you're hyper focused, you can't actually see the layout. You can't see the forest. All you're seeing is the path you need to run on. And that path is what someone else has told you to run on, not necessarily the path you're supposed to take. You just don't know till you can sit back and say, well, you know. I could go here and this would be this way. I could go this way. I could, I'm going to go this way right now.
Cause I think that's the best choice and then figure out where you end up and then look at all the paths. Again, we make better decisions when we're calm. And I think all of us know that, you know, like my peanut butter jelly sandwich, my sandwich example, it's like, I didn't make the best decision there. Because I made it quickly.
Len Arcuri | 49:00
No, that makes sense. Let's just wind up, wind this conversation down. I think just going back to the secret, right?
So a two part secret for this week, stress is optional, right? And that being that, you know, all kinds of stuff's going to come your way that you're not wanting. Life is filled with constant challenges. But ultimately the feeling of stress is something that, you know, if you've heard a lot of what Dr. Pingle has shared, it's about our response to it. You get to choose how you respond. And it doesn't mean that there's not going to be things that you're not liking, but it's how you're responding to it. And the grace you show yourself in terms of, being able to take it in and trust yourself to figure it out is the key here.
That's why we're saying stress is optional, but you need to shift in order for that to be the case. Right. And now you take the second part of this.
So stress is optional. Fix your adrenals. I know that's what you do with parents and you've touched on a number of ways that you do that. I think you mentioned it, but I think it might useful to focus on, how important is quality sleep for somebody to fix their adrenals?
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 50:12
Well, incredibly important. But if you're anticipating a bear, it's not as easy to say, go to bed on time and sleep. It doesn't work that way. I use a combination often of nutrients and herbs.
I mean, my job as a naturopathic physician is to look for the internal stressors. We can all establish our external stressors, the things that are coming at us all the time. For me, I look at what's out of balance in the body. Do we have enough nutrition? Are there markers, inflammation markers and that type of thing?
So what I have to do is get in and change that biochemistry so that the body doesn't feel stressed out. And I can do this with a combination of nutrients and herbs and things that help calm that cortisol response. I use things like phosphatidylserine. L-theanine. Magnesium. Methylated B vitamins. Vitamin C, because all of those are rapidly depleted when you're running from a bear.
So those types of things to help in some sense, help the cortisol just come down at night so you can get restorative sleep. First thing, like when people come to me and they have a list of a laundry list of different things they're experiencing, The first thing I say is, and this goes to an infant too, because you'll look at this from an infant perspective and be like, of course, Are they... Are they going to the bathroom and are they sleeping?
So my first question to people is, what are you eating? Are you going to the bathroom every day? And are you sleeping? And if they say no, the rest of the stuff has to wait because until you have proper nutrition, you're having proper elimination and you're sleeping, none of the other stuff is going to work. But when we're so busy focused on, you know, what we're trying to do and running, of course, we're not going to sleep. Of course not.
So we have to deal with that first. And the adrenals always play a role in every single part of our body.
So They're always part of the protocol. And I think it's missed. By modern medicine. All the time. They say, well, are you stressed?
Well, yeah. I've got kids. I've got a husband. I've got a child with disability, whatever it may be. And they go yeah, that's normal. You're probably just going through perimenopause or andropause or whatever. It's normal. Just deal with it. No.
Like I say, no, this isn't normal. It's at a whole nother level of, you know, we've adapted for this to be normal and it's not. And we have to go back to basics and we have to treat our adrenals. We have to look at them because no matter what you could take. All of the medication. You could do all the right things. You could eat all the right diet. You could exercise every day. But if your adrenals think there's a bear and you're not sleeping and getting proper rest and repair during the parasympathetic nervous system, none of those things will work. Because the body will eliminate them.
You know, you can take 400 supplements that are all great for this or that, but if you're not digesting them. What's the point? You can eat a perfect diet. But when you're running from a bear, you don't digest your food well. You don't go to the bathroom well. You don't sleep well. You don't manage your serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine well.
You know, you don't manage your hormones. You store all your hormones and then you end up with hormonal symptoms. You have to focus on bringing down that reaction of cortisol and rest in order for all those things to work. And when you do that, you need less things. Make it work.
Len Arcuri | 53:26
Right. And that's everything that you just articulated is why Finding a practitioner, somebody to put on your team who has the right perspective, the right diagnostic knowledge. Procedures and then of course the right ways that you can help address your adrenals if there's an issue is really important because a Typical mainstream doctor, yeah, in terms of stress, maybe they'll check your blood pressure, but that's probably it.
So high level though, when you're working with somebody, what biomarkers do you look at or what other diagnostic methods do you use to kind of get a sense? And I know this could be a totally separate podcast episode. I Just high level.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 54:06
Probably- Well, high level is when I run labs, it's a good six pages, right? So let's just talk about just blood work in general. When you go to your practitioner and you say, hey, doc, I don't feel great. Run some lab work. They run like a blood count, a metabolic panel, and maybe like a surface level thyroid. And that's it. And they're like, you're great. Take care. And my response is, well, you're great with what they ran. But what about all the other things going on?
So I actually have a lab list. This might be easier if you want to put it in the show notes as an opt-in. I have a link that I will send you, email you the labs that I run every single year as a good baseline. And it goes into hormones. It goes into full thyroid panels, some nutritional markers, blood counts, metabolics, inflammatory markers, nutritional... And these are things that can be run at your standard lab. They're not specialty. They're not This isn't some test you have to pay thousands of dollars for. In fact, these are tests that your doctor could run. And order. But they don't. I don't know why. Maybe they don't want to find something. Because then they have to treat it. I don't know. I get frustrated with that because I'm like, what's the harm in just looking? I'm just seeing. And I run this every year.
And then for me, it's looking at In every chemical reaction, which is what our body is, right? It's just our product is energy. And we just have all these reactions that we put on our little conveyor belt to produce energy. And the energy does whatever it needs to do. And so I look at it from, you know, A plus B, there's an arrow goes to see what things are needed over the arrow. Do those look like they're lacking? Do we have enough A? Do we have enough B? Do we have enough C? And really customizing the protocol to that. Because You could have the exact same symptom and one person has not enough A and the other person has enough A. You have to look at where is the problem in that pathogen. And these labs will help someone such as myself or someone that has the skill to do that, understand what's your A, what's your B and what's your C and make the proper recommendations for that. And often you need that because when you're stuck in that wheel, that hamster wheel of stress. The body's going to always adapt. And you need that outside person to be like, look, Here's where your body is showing the stress. Let's start with that.
And then you'll find over the years, it'll change. You know, the symptom will change and the body will adapt in different ways.
And then you come at that and you come at that. It's like an onion, like the body's like an onion. It has a root core and then it gets all these layers. Start with the outermost layer, clear that out, go to the next one, go to the next one, go to the next one. Health is an ongoing process. You never are perfectly healthy.
I mean, it's great to think that you are. You're always growing and getting healthier and healthier as you go on if you're taking those small steps.
Len Arcuri | 56:59
Yeah, no, it's a constant state of becoming and growing and things do evolve. So, yeah, thank you for lifting the curtain a little bit on what that might look like. And again, I think that would be useful for parents who want to learn more. Look in the show notes.
So, Dr. Pingel, so people want to find out more about you. Where can they find you?
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 57:18
The great place to start is drpingel.com, D-R-P-I-N-G-E-L.com. It has links to blog articles. It has links to anything that I offer, my book my social media links.
So if you're someone that does like to dance, That's a great place to find me dancing, particularly on Instagram. I do post it on Facebook too, but Instagram seems to be better for it. But I do get out there and I dance and I teach through dancing and have some fun with it. And I think... That's a great place if you really just want to kind of relax and use social media in a positive way. You can find me there and definitely reach out. Say hello.
Like say, hey, I heard you on this podcast. I love to meet new people.
Like I said, community is important to me. And I think we need to start connecting. Right. And I host a live Q&A every Friday as well on Instagram and Facebook. But all of this is from my website.
So start there and definitely say hello.
Len Arcuri | 58:17
Fantastic. Well, and again, so aside from all that, really appreciate this conversation, which again, I think really makes the case for focusing on your self-care. Look in particular at where there's unnecessary stress and know that. Absolutely, especially with everything that was shared today. There's so much you can do now to turn the tide and to move in a different direction.
So thank you so much for sharing your perspective and I really appreciate this conversation.
Dr. Tricia Pingel | 58:48
Me too. Thanks for having me.
Len Arcuri | 58:51
Your child wants you to transform now. And the fastest way to do that is with personalized support. To learn more, go to allinparentcoaching.com/intensive.
