Episode 232 — You're A GO-GIVER

Date: November 28, 2024

Episode Overview

Tune in this week for a short but powerful message.

The secret this week is…

You’re A GO-GIVER

Full Transcript

Len Arcuri | 00:00

In abundance, you can play a different role. You can recognize that you're a go-giver and a go-giver is freely done. You can do it. It can never be done to you. It's about you giving in a way that creates something new and beautiful.

Cass Arcuri | 00:17

Want to truly be the best parent you can be and help your child thrive after their autism diagnosis? This podcast is for all in parents like you who know more is possible for your child.

Len Arcuri | 00:28

- With each episode, we reveal a secret that empowers you to be the parent your child needs now, saving you time, energy, and money, and helping you focus on what truly matters most, your child.

Cass Arcuri | 00:39

- I'm Cass. - And I'm Len. - Welcome to Autism Parenting Secrets.

Len Arcuri | 00:58

And This episode is coming out on Thanksgiving. And the title is You Are a Go-Giver.

So that's the secret this week. A little bit of an intriguing title. But it's absolutely a true Insight, a true statement. And the more you recognize and embrace this truth, Trust me, the more power you're going to have. We're in the middle of the present buying season now, the holiday season. But if you stay tuned for only a few minutes, this episode is the gift of a short episode I give to you, the listener. You're going to learn how to change your frame, the lens through which you see the world for the better. And knowing this in a deeper way is a huge gift you can give yourself, your child, and everyone you come into contact with.

So. You are a go-giver. What does that mean?

Well, let's break it down. Let's start with go-getter, a term that everyone knows. Go means that you're not passive. You're an action taker. And getter means someone who obtains things, someone who takes action.

So a go-getter is someone who, you know, energetically and aggressively... They hustle, they're an enterprising person and that's all positive, generally speaking. There's nothing wrong with it unless your belief system isn't aligned and specifically what's your view on how the world works is a useful thing to consider. And there really are two high-level options here. In terms of how the world works, If you have a scarcity mentality, Then everything's a win-lose proposition. There's only so much to go around. And if you have success, someone else is going to lose. If you don't get what you want, somebody else is going to get what they want.

So in this frame, a go-getter is a taker, someone who takes action and gets what they want to better themselves and their status or, you know, in some self-serving way. And in that kind of frame, it's really scare city.

You know, it's a harsh, hard place where there's winners and losers, and it's easy to get frustrated, you know, and exhausted by the constant battles and comparisons. I know I thought many times that, hey, my friend's kid or my friend's son is the same age as mine and mine has autism and theirs seems perfect. And so if you're in a scarcity mentality, it's easy to just get stuck in that type of thinking.

So. Scarcity or scare city. It's a hard place to be. And the other option... Because in terms of how you're looking at the world, if a scarcity mentality is the first one, Then the second one is, to sincerely have an abundance mentality. And that means there's enough to go around. There's plenty for everybody. And if you have success, then there's no need for someone else to lose. If you get what you want, It doesn't have to diminish someone else.

So abundance for everyone and everything It really is that win-win way of looking at the world. And it's not just wishful thinking. It really is, can be reality if you're looking at things through this frame.

So. With this in mind, the term go-getter just doesn't really fit. Because in an abundance, the objective that you're going to have is going to shift. It's not just about getting or taking. There's space for something more, and that's creating. And not just for yourself and your child, but for everyone.

So in abundance, you can play a different role. You can recognize that you're a go-giver. And a go-giver is freely done, you can do it. It can never be done to you. It's about you giving in a way that creates something new and beautiful. This go-giver changes the frames. You can go for what you want, but there's more than enough for everyone. And you can do what's right for you and your child in a way that's loving, that's accepting. And that again, what's your child receiving? Because they're watching you. Your kids are always watching everything you're doing. They are listening to what you say, or more importantly, they're feeding off of your energy. If you're projecting a taker, they're going to feel that. If you're projecting more of a calm, giving, accepting version of yourself, I mean, that in and of itself, it's just a gigantic gift.

So I promise to keep this episode short. Before autism, I know I was a go-getter. And after autism, and the ability to shift into a different version of myself and a different way of even looking at my role and what was possible for Rye. I shifted to being much more of a go-giver. The journey revealed This truth. And it really fundamentally changed my identity.

So right now, I suggest you may not appreciate how much you are giving now and how much your child is giving to the best of their ability. Because this journey can feel really so much like things are being taken away from you, that so much has been taken away from your child. And it can feel very hard. I know I felt beaten down a lot. The world can feel like it's out to get you. Others are winning, you're losing. It's scarcity mentality. Scare city. And if you feel like you're losing and other people are winning, it's time to reframe because it's not about. It being a competition. Abundance is the reality. And that's the place where your contributions, what you give shines the most. When you sacrifice for your child, that's draining. But when you freely give... You become more empowered by the giving. And it's easy to discount how much you truly are giving because there's always more to do.

So on this Thanksgiving, The opportunity is to feel gratitude for what you are doing, how you are giving, how you're showing up Gratitude is a superpower. And the bigger you make it, the better everything gets.

So the invitation on this holiday is to savor how much you are a go-giver. You're somebody who's choosing more abundance for you and your child. You're investing your time and your energy and all the resources you have. You're investing it. It's not an expenditure. It's not a sacrifice. You're investing, you're betting on yourself, you're betting on your child. And it's not about less for you, the parent, and more for your child. It's more for both. It's about abundance, not scarcity. What you're doing is contributing to the world. Not just about your child. Your child is pointing the way. For you to be an even bigger giver And the key here is providing acceptance for your child. By accepting them as they are, you're giving them an enhanced sense of safety.

So the more you can say big yes to your child, the more you can greet them with an expression of love. Acceptance isn't a tactic, it's just a way of being. And it not only gives them what they want and what they may need, but it just feels great for you. Peace and love are definitely Underrated. And finally, a go-giver is somebody who drops expectations, of what they kind of demanding of their child. And inspires them and takes action. But without the pressure. And definitely without the comparison to other kids.

So, in the chaos of the holidays, it's easy to lose sight over how much you're giving Have gratitude and appreciation of what a light you are. And don't let the fact that you're not at your ideal version of yourself keep you from being fueled by that knowing. Because if you're like me, you're giving like never before. You're giving your time, you're giving your energy and you're channeling it for good. For positive needed change. And knowing how challenging and exhausting the journey can be, this journey is challenging you to transform. And the opportunity right now is to become even bigger, more loving, and stronger. You are a creator, not a taker, a go-giver. Along with your child, who is casting light and leading the way. Your child wants you to transform now. And the fastest way to do that is with personalized support. To learn more, go to allinparentcoaching.com/intensive.